Jeremy

I'm on the Amtrak #89 going south for weekend.

I’m sitting behind a caramel colored little boy. Jeremy is his name. Occasionally, he stands up in his seat to look back at me with a careless cascading mop of curly black hair and a sea of golden chestnuts where his eyes should be. I put my book down so that he has my full attention.

He starts to serenade me with his toddler version of Alicia Keys’ song “No One.” He closes his eyes and enthusiastically sings the chorus at the top of his little lungs “Ooh ooh Ooh oh Oh……..Ooh Ooh Ooh Oh Oh!”

I instantly fall in love.

His mother apologizes and says it’s his favorite song and tries to get him to stop to no avail. “It’s ok,” I say. “He’s adorable.” They get off the train in Richmond. As we pull off from the platform Jeremy waves goodbye. I notice they are carrying trash bags instead of luggage.

I stare out the window for the next 50 miles wondering what will become of him. I quietly hum my new favorite song as the passing of the trees mercifully lulls me to sleep.

OOOOO....I love ya!!!

Happy Happy Birthday to my dear Oprah!

Anyone who knows me well enough knows I love me some Oprah. I mean how can you not? She is a mogul, a philanthropist and a one woman empire.

Oprah Winfrey IS the American Dream! She is the coolest nouveau riche in the world. She is an incredibly good person, investing over 300 million to various charities including 40 million to open the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. And while we all know Oprah loves the finer things in life, her embrace of materialism is totally matched by her embrace of spirit. For example, I learned the laws of the universe not in a physics class, but from The Secret, the Winfrey-endorsed self-help book, which taught me that wealth is just the byproduct of a successful soul. Critics of Ms. Winfrey's money are just negativists who don't understand how to manifest the positive.

Not only has Oprah changed the way America reads and values books but you can best believe "The Oprah's Book Club" seal on a book will lead to instant fame and bestseller status for any author. I am personally well on my way to reading every book on her list.

Currently, she is lending her A-list star power to Obama's campaign, drawing huge crowds that hopefully will translate into votes. Tens of thousands turned out for Winfrey's rally stops with Obama. In South Carolina, the turn-out was so overwelming that the campaign ran out of the 18,000 tickets originally available and moved it to the 80,000-seat University of South Carolina football stadium.

One of the most powerful women in the world, Oprah is both loved...and apparently hated. People will grasp at anything, it seems, to find fault with a woman who has lived the American dream, worked her way up from the bottom, and raised herself to the status of billionaire...and all this, despite her poor upbringing, despite her gender, despite her race.

She is a force to be reckoned with, a pioneer, a survivor. If only she would be Obama's running mate.....Then all would be right with the world!!!

I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. ~ Oprah Winfrey

"AS" IF!!

It's been awhile since I danced at a club until the lights came on but we did the damn thang saturday night.

Just when we thought the whole night was going to consist of Lil' Wayne and other crunked out nonsense they started to play "our" music.

The original Stevie Wonder classic "As" was the last song of the night but this video is a not so well known version. Before Mary became the "Saint of Hip Hop Soul" she did this duet with George Michaels but it was only released in the U.K.

Anyway, what started out as a pretty pitiful and self-depreciating morning ended as a amazingly fun and oddly inspirational night. Through the miracle of vodka and great acoustics that last dance was almost a religious experience.

On that night... in that moment...in the midst of friends and strangers I felt really alive..

and beautiful...

open...

talented...

worthy.

In that moment.. I was the epitome of everything he couldnt see in me...

But ultimately that's fine as long as I continue to see it in me..

"As today I know I'm living.. but tomorrow

Could make me the past..but that I mustn't fear

For I'll know deep in my mind

The love of me I've left behind

Cause I'll be loving you me..always...."

It's snowing!!!

This is what it looks like outside my office window. A blanket of snow. Why couldnt this have happen BEFORE I came to work so I could stay in bed eating oatmeal and watching Maury? It is pretty tho'

The Social Experiment

CHICK1 [3:34 P.M.]: and I haven t talked to him since….

CHICK1 [3:35 P.M.]: he did answer Saturday and had such an attitude I told him I had to go

Chick2 [3:35 P.M.]: wow...he's passive aggressive

CHICK1 [3:36 P.M.]: yep...if it was no...just say so...

Chick2 [3:36 P.M.]: right!

Chick2 [3:36 P.M.]: I mean, it's not like you can run over to his house and beat him up

CHICK1 [3:38 P.M.]: but just like everything else he doesn’t want to confront...he shuts down and lays low for awhile

CHICK1 [3:39 P.M.]: I was going to write him today but im not sure if its worth it..

Chick2 [3:39 P.M.]: at some point, you'll either choose to keep him in your life, or let him go

Chick2 [3:40 P.M.]: it's like anything else

CHICK1 [3:40 P.M.]: I think for me its gone from I really want to work this out to...a god-awful social experiment I cant let go of

Chick2 [3:40 P.M.]: we give them chance after chance to prove themselves

Chick2 [3:40 P.M.]: I know what you mean...I call them "social experiments" too!

Chick2 [3:40 P.M.]: lol

CHICK1 [3:40 P.M.]: lol

Chick2 [3:41 P.M.]: lately, “ex” has been a social experiment.

Chick2 [3:41 P.M.]: although I dont' talk to him much

Chick2 [3:41 P.M.]: but now I think, it's probably best not even to get involved...because he's totally fucked up in the head...and I think people like him just drag you down into their web of insanity

Chick2 [3:42 P.M.]: but like you, I enjoy being entertained

Chick2 [3:42 P.M.]: lol

CHICK1 [3:42 P.M.]: I think thats exactly what it is for me now..entertainment...

CHICK1 [3:45 P.M.]: he had made me numb to some extent to his tactics but I still have to be careful as to not have all his negative energy transferred but all in all its like watching a monkey in a cage. what will he do next?? why does he do what he does? if I tap on the glass a little harder will he come over and dance for me? lol

Chick2 [3:45 P.M.]: LMAO

Chick2 [3:45 P.M.]: I feel u

Chick2 [3:46 P.M.]: but yeah, it's like, as long as you don't get sucked into the cage with him

CHICK1 [3:46 P.M.]: exactly

Chick2 [3:46 P.M.]: "awww, he looks harmless. Let me go in and get a closer look"

Chick2 [3:46 P.M.]: and then he bites ur head off

CHICK1 [3:47 P.M.]: and then reminds you that it was your fault cause you knew he was a animal

Chick2 [3:47 P.M.]: right

Chick2 [3:47 P.M.]: ugh

Chick2 [3:49 P.M.]: part of me is kinda evil too...like I like to see them in their rightful cages

Chick2 [3:49 P.M.]: chasing their tails

Chick2 [3:49 P.M.]: that's my own little issue...knowing when to just leave it alone

CHICK1 [3:50 P.M.]: oh mine too...i like to use the flowers analogy...

CHICK1 [3:50 P.M.]: my relationships tend to be like a beautiful bouquet of flowers..

CHICK1 [3:51 P.M.]: looking good...smelling good...making you smile every time you look at it...

CHICK1 [3:51 P.M.]: then after awhile when the leaves start to fall off you just add a little more water and plant food and try and keep it alive..

CHICK1 [3:52 P.M.]: and even after its obviously dead and rotting you still hold on to it cause they use to be soooo pretty and its just such a shame to throw them away...

Chick2 [3:53 P.M.]: and you remember the joy it brought when you first brought it home

CHICK1 [3:53 P.M.]: and before you know it..its way too late to get rid of them..you have smelly water and a house full of gnats!!!

Chick2 [3:53 P.M.]: and how it lit up your home

Chick2 [3:53 P.M.]: lol

Chick2 [3:53 P.M.]: ooh, I love it!

Chick2 [3:53 P.M.]: good blog topic...get to it!

CHICK1 [3:54 P.M.]: I know right?

Happy Birthday J.J.!!!!!!

Here it is again! Attack of the birthday somberos. Why must we do this to ourselves? In anycase J.J. was a great sport and as always a great friend. I don't know too many people who would drive 90 miles to go with me to the movies....just because.

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."- Euripides, Greek playwrite

Next stop.. Metro Center.

My image of my self is often warped and unyielding. In my minds eye my face is always far less round and my hair not so wildly unkept.

Today I am almost startled at my real reflection when I caught a glimpse of my face in the train window.

I quickly went back to pretending to read my book as I felt like I wasn't the only one concerned about my looks this morning.

He was 3 rows behind me but I could feel him staring a hole in my head.

As he walked past to exit the train he said "Hey beautiful why so sad?"

I didn't have enough words to explain and he didn't have enough time to listen.

So I just feigned a grateful smile and nodded. "I'm ok."

He didn't believe me.

And neither did I.


~asabi

Saturday GameDay

this lazy afternoon
i lie here
comfortable
in my sincerities
exposing flaws
and vulnerabilities

we stay
all day
intertwined
body and mind
while miles away
hearts remain behind
as there seems
no place
for them in this bed
instead
i’ll claim to be empathetic
while you remain unapologetic
in your stance
and for now
i’ll tip toe gracefully
thru this dance
as we watch the game

this lazy afternoon
i lie here
marveling at just how easy
some players make it seem

~asabi

2008...A new resolve

to not be afraid of the truth

to never forget my worth

to be more self-centered

to be more discerning

to take more risks

to be healthier physically and emotionally

to remain faithful




I am filled with inexplicable hope for the new year. Amazing things are about to happen.



Kul 'am wa antum bikhair !

Ein glückliches neues Jahr !

Feliz año nuevo!