peaches and cream

late season love awashed in the glow of sunsets and anticipation...

anxiously waiting to be picked before falling to the ground. bruised but still the best kind of sweet. 

just look up and reach for me..I am..waiting.

...to nourish you.

-asabi

Praise Jam

It's the end of the "Welcome Weekend". The excitement has officially worn off. I'm wimpy so 2 days of getting up before dawn, being severely de-decaffeinated and sober and being forced to sleep in a hot box of a room with two strangers is taking its toll. I know this feeling. It's depression and its found me in Yogaville.

I was feeling pretty lonely  at this point but the universe knew exactly what I needed in the form of an invitation to a "Praise Jam" by one of the Ashram Yogis. Initially I wasn't extremely interested. I was raised Catholic and we tend to be a bit more reserved in our worship so unless praise jam was some awesome new spread to put on my whole wheat toast I wouldn't necessarily be so inclined to participate.

        

I decided to accept the invitation and went some of the other LYTs and Yogis in Training to a house off the quad but walking distance. There I find a dog that looks like Lassie and a sage of a cat in the home of a bearded man that hugs everyone as they walk in. He starts to give instructions: Pick up a book on the table, find a passage that "speaks" to you and read it. "Shyness will ruin the jam" he warns. We each rummage through the options. Rumi..Hafiz...Whyte and many more. We started with a harmony of "OMs" until the universe found its way into the music. Guitars, drums, harmonicas played as we swayed and read our individual passages...














More people arrived as we packed the living room. Real Yogis, soon to be Yogis, and me. I am not sure who I am at this moment except an observer falling in love with David Whyte, falling in love with these people in this room, falling in love with God and realizing where there is a OM there is a way.

.

Day 365

Today's photo inspiration is #au_revoir

 #Au_revoir to the old me..bonjour to the new me..and in case you were wondering... Yes! They're fake..the real ones tried to kill me! 

Goodbye projectlife365 I'm so proud of myself for committing to the end despite this years challenges. These are more than just pictures but windows into my heart. Thank you for coming along the journey with me. May 2014 bring us an even more beautiful story to share. Xoxo

Day 364

Today's photo inspiration is #sparkle

"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't." -Blaise Pascal

Day 360

Today's photo inspiration is #magical

Its not sometimes realistic to think magical things can happen in life and especially in love. But I'd like to think of it as a courageous act of defiance to keep believing in magic even when no one else does.

Day 357

Today's photo inspiration is #cup_of_good_cheer

Nothing like a cup of good cheer to celebrate my first post surgery outing...there is definitely a nap in my future. :) 

Day 356

Today's inspiration is #lights

Life is short. Hold on to every bright #light you can to illuminate this sometimes dark world. 

Day 352

Today's photo inspiration is #spot

 "Since my barn's burned down I now own a better view of the rising #moon" - Mizuta Masahide

Day 332

Today's photo inspiration is #thankful_for

 I am so very thankful for the love distance nor time nor illness could erase.

Day 308

Today's photo inspiration is #many

 "Many a trip continues long after movement in time and space have ceased." - John Steinbeck 

Day 289

Today's photo inspiration is #in_charge.

Happy Birthday to me!!! I have no worries today cause God's in charge.

Happy 40th Birthday to me!!! :)

I woke up today on my 40th birthday... cancer free. For the first time in my life I didn't worry about the extra weight or the wrinkles or any of the physical attributes we tend to dwell on when it comes to getting older because guess what? There was a real chance that I could have missed out on experiencing this blessing and miracle of being alive today.

I've decided to celebrate as much as I can this month, as much as my body will allow me to. I have so many loved ones planning great things for me this week and beyond that I have no choice but to take it all in. This birthday, this milestone is not just a blessing to me but an answered prayer for scores of people. This birthday is bigger than me, it is a testimony of what can happen when good people do great things with their hearts and mind.

I still have a long road of recovery ahead of me and with your continued support I will be better and stronger for it. My life isn't easy and I may have 99 problems but turning 40 aint one. 

I'm feeling hopeful about the future and completely winning this war against cancer..The physical scars, the emotional toll, the fear of reoccurance will all have to take a back seat to me living my life with authenticity, joy and being open to all the abundance the universe will bless me with.

The great Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best...

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
So keep your eyes open for what lies within me.... plenty of love and light and the will to be here for the next 40 years.

A happy birthday to me indeed.

Day 276

Today's photo inspiration is #words_to_live_by  

Do not keep calm and carry on. Wake up every day & bitch slap that cancer til its gone!!  Say  word. 

Day 264

Today's photo inspiration is #nobody_sees_this.

Its my one month surgerversary! Thanks to my roommate Colette for doing my hair and helping me feel like the "old" me. The acceptance of the "new" me is still in progress. :) 

Day 258

Today's photo inspiration is #currently_reading.

 Anti-Cancer..a new way of life by David Servan-Schreiber, MD, PhD. Highly recommended read on how to avoid all the fun I've been having.

Day 244

Today's photo inspiration is #you_today

 The bestie Heather treating me to my first Starbucks run post surgery.:) 

Day 235

Today's photo inspiration is #fracture.

While cancer can fracture the body and mind. Hope and a willingness to fight can heal your spirit. Let's do this. :) 

6am Reflections

I've gotten a total of 7 hours of sleep in the past two days but I am not tired. I'm up praying for a peace to come over me at 1 pm which I do not have yet this morning. 

I want to go back to bed but I know I have a bigger things that lie ahead of me and none of it involves laying back down and giving up. The build up and anticipation and anxiety of the past 7 weeks have all come down to this day. All the decision making, planning and "doing" can be put aside as I am told there is nothing more that I can do but show up to save my life.

You ALL..My friends and family, my CAKE team even perfect strangers have covered me in prayers and well wishes and by your amazing outpouring of love and light have already saved me and I'm forever grateful.

For those of you that have not seen it my friends have helped me put together a website with pictures quotes and a donation page. They will give progress updates until I can resume them myself.  Please check it out and post and give if the spirit moves you. 

https://www.mylifeline.org/abeal/?page=welcome.cfm

Thank you again for all the support thus far. It means the world to me. Looking forward to seeing you on the other side.

Heart open..Spirit renewed..Cancer gone.

Day 228

Today's photo inspiration is #obligations

My friends taking the time to celebrate life with me despite their own issues and obligations.  Love was the priority of the night.

Day 218

Today's photo inspiration is #morning_routine

 Today was my last official day in the office for awhile. My morning routine was to walk through these doors and try my best at being a part of helping to improve the lives of others. As challenging as times were I realize I was exactly where I was suppose to be. I'll miss it.