Here's to the Foul Weather Friends

So it’s officially 2011 and unlike most of the world I have not been in deep contemplation about my New Years resolutions. I think I’m just a little bored with the idea and I’d like to think I am already constantly resolving to be a better me…physically, mentally, emotionally and financially; and those goals should not have start or end dates. However, I will say that I have recently resolved to try to change a certain bad habit of mine.

I was knee deep in another emotional upheaval in the slapstick comedy drama that is my life and a recent chapter was something like this:

Girl meets boy and falls in love
Girl is happy and all is alright with the world
Boy breaks up with Girl
Girl tries to overdose in a vat of strawberry cheesecake

And scene.

Overly simplified and dramatic but you get the picture.

But in the midst of wallowing in that situation along with dealing with a myriad of other financial and family issues I was stopped in my tracks by a dear friend that called me out on my habit of ignoring his calls and avoiding him for no real good reason. I explained that I didn’t want to burden him or most people with the negative aspects of my life and would rather only call or see people when I have good things to talk about. He told me that we would continue to be friends whether I was happy or sad and a little sadness wasn’t going to scare him away. How awesome is that? Even more awesome is the fact that I am blessed to have numerous friends and family who feel the same way about me and it’s just my own insecure hang ups that keep me from connecting more intimately to the people that love me best.

In the past I’ve always felt that talking about ones problems could be considered emotionally self indulgent and more so a luxury that some people just can not afford. Do you think people in third world countries are complaining that they only got a 3% raise or that their Jaguar only takes premium gas? Do you know how much it would cost in Uganda to drown your sorrows in a vat of strawberry cheesecake? A lot.

Of course allowing folks “in” is easier said than done and it’s quite a humbling, even embarrassing matter to admit that life is not going your way at any particular moment and you may need a shoulder to lean on. But, I had to realize that I am always going to be going thru something. IT’S CALLED LIFE...and sometimes it sucks big hairy monkey balls. But more importantly, I had to realize I can not go through it alone. No one can.

So if I had to have a resolution this year it would be to be more vulnerable and open and allow my loved ones to be there for me in the foul weather as well as the fair… and I hope that they allow me to do the same.

Happy New Years!!!


"Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
– Dinah Craik