In honor of my Uncle Marcus

A quote by Harriet Beecher Stowe...

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

What words have been left unsaid in your life?

There were plenty between Marcus and I.  We had not spoken for three years since the passing of my mother, his sister Pamela. At a time when family should be at It’s closest, ours was torn apart. Words were said in anger and grief and a painful distance emerged between us.  One that I didnt think would ever end. But here I am today memorizing my Uncle...grieving over words left unsaid. 

Marcus and I were very close growing up and it was a interesting thing to have a Uncle that was only 2 years older than you. I remember the time when I was 4 or 5 years old when he would to no avail try to get my cousin Amir and I to respectfully call him "Uncle". He really did try his best to have dominion over us especially since he was much bigger than us but it never really caught on.  One of my favorite funny childhood memories was when we lived on Ada street in Chicago and even though he tried to act like a tough guy he was actually afraid of the dark so Amir and I locked him out side and turned the lights out. He screamed and started kicking the door which was made of glass..just as he shattered the glass his dad Bernard was coming up the stairs behind him. As you can imagine Marcus at 6 years old wasnt such a tough guy when he was getting his butt beat that night. 

As time went on Marcus grew up to be a self professed authority figure always giving his opinions and advice to whoever would listen and unfortunately for him we werent very obedient. I like to beleive one of the highlights of his life was the birth of my brothers Amon and Maku and my daughter Chyna because he finally had someone who was so much younger that when they said "Uncle Marcus!!!" they meant it. He loved them and he loved me too...and i know that now.

Marcus was one of the funniest people I knew and I'm going to miss his unique way of loving, which was wrapped up in sarcasm, advice and a few choice curse words.

I'm going to miss his sanity and resolve in this crazy world. And most of all I'm going to miss being able to call him Uncle.

I hope the irony that Marcus died on the same day as my mom, his sister is not lost on you. To me, It was a fitting way to remind me in death what he couldnt in life..that family matters.

Regardless of the pettiness and pride, the ego and our human frailties at the end of it all we have to try our best to love and respect each other. To continue to hold space for each other with empathy but also in truth.

Let Marcus' life, death and legacy be a testimony to that.

Rest in power Uncle Marcus.