Well I know where mine is. Its at the Prince George county courthouse reporting for jury duty. Unfortunately for me I had run out of excuses to postpone, delay and reschedule my summons. I guess there are only so many times you can have the Bird Flu.
I just don't understand why jury duty can't be a strictly voluntary endeavor but as my favorite smart-ass co worker Katie told me yesterday in her best Louisiana drawl "cause no one would show up!" We both agree that the unemployed should be responsible for jury duty. What else do they have to do? Let's make it a criteria for receiving unemployment benefits. Go ahead write your Congressman now!
The fact that I have to be here at 7:30 am is insane just so I can sit in a jury assembly room all day with the minute chance of being picked. Let's not forget..you only get a $15 stipend. I normally don't get out of bed for less than $300!
There is quite the motley crew in the assembly room today and like I usually do when I'm in a crowd I check out the cute guys (2 maybe 3. But that third one looks real suspect) and what the women are wearing. I conclude that I am the best dressed here. Second place goes to the mamacita with the Kelly green trench coat and mohair prada boots. She loses just for trying so hard (its jury duty people!). So after spending 6 hours being passed over for case after case my name was finally called.
I was given a red card with the number 64 on it and was told to get in line and wait for the bailiff. I must admit I was actually kinda excited to finally go into the court. I wanted to experience this important part of our democracy..be a integral part in it remaining fair and impartial..be a beacon of light for those who have lost all faith in the justice system! That was until they told us this would be a criminal case which could last up to 7 days. OH..HELL TO THE NAW! I start to panic..I've got too much shyt to do at work..my boss is going to freak..I have ADD..I couldn't possibly pay attention to anything for 7 days straight even if it was the murder trial of Bobby Brown for a crack induced killing spree.
And just when my panic fest was starting to kick into high gear an announcement was made that the judge only needed 57 jurors and the rest of the group could go home. Whoo hoo! I peaced out my fellow juror breathren and rushed back home just in time for Maury...
Justice has been served.
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