Out with the Old and in with the New..Year

Wow! What a year huh?

As I reflect on the past year I have to say it has been arguably the most pivotal year of my life. This time last year I was shouting out that 2013 was going to be the most incredible year ever and boy was I right. This was the year I was turning 40... this was the year I was taking that dream vacation to Italy…this was the year I dared to be hopeful, actually expectant of an amazing year.

One of my favorite quotes is “if you ever want to hear God laugh make a plan”. Well, it must have been like a Chris Rock show up in heaven this year.

So you all know the story by now. And forever more my life, my body and all that I am will be described in time periods of  “pre-cancer” and “post-cancer” and I’m learning to be ok with that.

This year has been such an education on the absolute best and worst that life has to offer.  I have lost some friendships and been disappointed by many who I thought would be right by my side though it all. And while the lack of support from some have sadden me, broken my heart even, It has taught me to redefine what I consider a friend and I’m grateful for that. I realize that some people you have to love from afar, wishing them well as you close the door behind you.

The overflow of love has by far outweighed the disappointments. Work mates have become friends and friends have become family and perfect strangers have come along this journey with me softening the rocky road with prayers and well wishes.

I don’t know what the future holds for me in 2014 but I have resolved myself to not allow God to have too many more laughs at my expense.  I am instead trying to give up my expectations of what my life should be up to Him.  There is something very freeing in knowing that your highest priority in this world is to live your best life..TODAY, while being faithful that all the other details will be worked out for your greatest good.

This year has taught me about resilience and humility, about not only being stronger than I ever thought I could be but even more importantly accepting the grace that comes with being vulnerable , fragile even.

Resolutions? I guess the obvious one would be to remain cancer free this year and forevermore. I’m also going to try and be a better friend, mother, sister and daughter. I’d like to also be open to finding and receiving the love of my life this year and allow myself the audacity to stand firm in my beliefs, ask for what I want and deserve, dream bigger than before and for goodness sake take that trip to Italy.

I am setting my intention for a year of victory ahead. ..And so it is.

Wishing the same for you.

Love and Light

Asabi