One More Surgery for the Win!!!

I braved the brutal cold today and went to my 3 week plastic surgeon check-up. Besides some residual pain and scar tissue issues at the incision site from the mastectomy, I seem to be healing pretty well. In fact, the doctor seemed quite pleased with her work. Good for her.  So it looks like I’m all set for yet another surgery tomorrow. Yep, you read right.

I will be having tubal ligation surgery at 8:30am tomorrow morning at Sibley Hospital and the closer it gets to tomorrow the more emotional I feel.  The fact is that after raising a 21 year old on my own I was pretty sure that I did not want any more children. But it’s one thing to make the decision on your own and entirely one other thing when the decision is made for you because of your circumstance.

And what exactly is my “circumstance”? I am ER/PR+/HEU2- which means that my particular type of cancer is fueled by hormones. The first thing I was told after being diagnosed was to stop taking birth control pills immediately. Which makes me question how much of a factor they played in causing the cancer to begin with..but that’s a different post.

For the next ten years (maybe more) I will have to take part in hormonal therapy in the form of a drug called Tamoxifen.  The good part is it suppresses my estrogen; the bad part is it suppresses my estrogen. So while it lessens my risk of reoccurrence it has some funky side effects, including hot flashes, wicked mood swings (so apologies if I have been bitchy), higher incidents of uterine cancer and birth defects.  Some women decide to go off of Tamoxifen for a period of time or forever in order to have children but that’s not a risk I want to take.

Besides, the whole thought of having to look into another child’s eyes like I had to do to my daughter and tell them that I have cancer and I don’t know if I’m going to die is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and I refuse to ever have to do that again.

So for all those reasons, with guidance from my doctors I have decided to get my “tubes tied”.  The surgery is a couple hours and recovery a couple of days or so but it’s not the physical scars and pain I’m so worried about. I know I will eventually get over it like I’ve had to get over everything else that has happened in the past 6-7 months...I have no choice.
But, for right now it sucks pretty bad. I guess the bright side is that I can put all that diaper money into the travel fund.

Love and Light,

Asabi