Day 15

#currently_reading crazy sexy cancer diet book. 

Day 334

Todays' photo inspiration is #open-minded.

 "Books and minds only work when they are open" - James Dewar 

Day 310

Today's photo inspiration is #words

A book gifted by a dear friend. No truer words were ever said. 

Day 298

Today's photo inspiration is  #new_and_improved

 Even though I've been holed up in the house for several days in severe pain there are always little things that make me feel new and improved. Like a good cup of green tea and fun, bright socks lovingly gifted to me by my sis Angie. :)

Happy 40th Birthday to me!!! :)

I woke up today on my 40th birthday... cancer free. For the first time in my life I didn't worry about the extra weight or the wrinkles or any of the physical attributes we tend to dwell on when it comes to getting older because guess what? There was a real chance that I could have missed out on experiencing this blessing and miracle of being alive today.

I've decided to celebrate as much as I can this month, as much as my body will allow me to. I have so many loved ones planning great things for me this week and beyond that I have no choice but to take it all in. This birthday, this milestone is not just a blessing to me but an answered prayer for scores of people. This birthday is bigger than me, it is a testimony of what can happen when good people do great things with their hearts and mind.

I still have a long road of recovery ahead of me and with your continued support I will be better and stronger for it. My life isn't easy and I may have 99 problems but turning 40 aint one. 

I'm feeling hopeful about the future and completely winning this war against cancer..The physical scars, the emotional toll, the fear of reoccurance will all have to take a back seat to me living my life with authenticity, joy and being open to all the abundance the universe will bless me with.

The great Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best...

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
So keep your eyes open for what lies within me.... plenty of love and light and the will to be here for the next 40 years.

A happy birthday to me indeed.

Day 258

Today's photo inspiration is #currently_reading.

 Anti-Cancer..a new way of life by David Servan-Schreiber, MD, PhD. Highly recommended read on how to avoid all the fun I've been having.

Day 242

Today's photo inspiration is #Just_like_a_movie.

 The haunting and brilliant "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. Just_like_a_movie but better...the books always are.

Day 202

Today's Photo inspiration is #currently_reading.

A borrowed book from my bestie Heather. Light for my path..very much needed.

Day 128

Today's photo inspiration is #fiction.

Its suspenseful and complex..a great work of fiction written by my lovely friend Kenn Bivins.  Not quite sure how one human being can be so creative and beautiful at the same time but I'm just glad to have him as part of my tribe. Check it out..

www.piousbook.com

Day 20

Today's photo inspiration is #currently_reading

Start Where You Are, A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron. 

It's my party and i'll cry if I want to..

It’s exactly five minutes till the day AFTER my birthday.

I made it another year!

I didn’t die in some weird, tragic accident whereas everyone that heard about my untimely death would say “wow..isnt that ironic? She died on her birthday.”

And I didn’t slit my wrists.

Not that I would really slit my wrists. It’s just something about birthdays that depress the hell out of me.
There is a certain level of discontent that looms over me some years, and this just happens to be one of those years.

It’s not that I don’t feel loved. I had plenty of calls, emails and cards full of well wishes from family and loved ones. And while one particular loved one didn’t call I guess it was just another reminder that it’s time to move on.

And that’s a good thing right?
So why the sadness?
This uneasiness I feel?

Like most, I sometimes contemplate my purpose in life. I wonder if somewhere down the road to discovery I may have made some wrong turns. I may have chosen a path that is taking me further away from my “Personal Legend” as the book The Alchemist refers to it. The Alchemist is such a enlightening book and it teaches that each one of us has a goal in life, a dream, a wish and a reason to keep us going and it’s up to us to find out what that is.

Its not that I feel I haven’t accomplished much in life. I’ve accomplished plenty. I just think that maybe I’m not living the life I was meant to, or with the person I was meant to be with.

But with awareness comes hope.

And I am hopeful that my ultimate purpose in life will soon be revealed to me. I am also hopeful that I will have the courage to make the difficult decisions and painful choices that may come with getting closer to my “Personal Legend”.

Paul Coelho says “When you want something, the whole Universe conspires to help you realize your desire.”

I think that’s an amazing statement.

So what do I desire? Only my heart and the Universe know.

It’s after midnight now…

My birthday is now officially over and with it..my discontent.

It’s been replaced with a certain resolved acceptance for where I am presently and an inquisitive optimism for where I will be in the future.


And I guess that is the greatest gift of all.