Not that I am super excited about going under the knife again, in fact I'm pretty scared but this is a major step in my healing journey and I am thankful I've made it this far.
Several people (especially men) have been extremely confused about my "boob status" since when they see me in person on in pictures it appears I have a pretty rockin' stack despite the fact that I had a double mastectomy in August. So the assumption is that I have already been "reconstructed". The answer is yes and no.
While it varies from woman to woman, in my particular case immediate reconstruction was not an option because at the time of my mastectomy surgery it was not known if the cancer had spread or if I would need chemo and/or radiation. Typically, doctors do not like to “reconstruct” or put in permanent implants before radiation because radiation may increase the likelihood of capsular contracture (scar tissue that severely contracts around the implant), necrosis (tissue death), and extrusion (bulging through skin). Instead, once the cancer was removed along with all my breast tissue flat “expanders” were placed under my chest muscle wall.
Tissue expanders are temporary “implants”/medical devices/INSTRUMENTS OF TORTURE that are used to make new breast pockets for the permanent implants. So after a month of healing from the mastectomy surgery I started getting the expanders “filled” with saline. They have a metal forward facing port that the doctor would access via needle and syringe and fill it up 50-100 cc’s at a time. So by Late October I was filled to the brim with 510 cc of sexy saline.
The expanders have to be hard enough to push out the muscle so you can imagine the potential pain that can come with that. Unfortunately for me my body wanted the expanders to kick rocks immediately and that’s when my neuropathy set in. Nerve pain is excruciating and even though I have been on tons of meds it has been at best annoyingly achy and at its worst completely debilitating. It has gotten to the point where I don’t even remember what it was like to not wake up in pain…weird huh?
Anywho, that’s why it looks I’m back to “normal” but I’m not. These temporary minions of the devil will be no more in just seven days. They will be replaced with SOFT silicone implants in a hopefully smooth operation at George Washington University Hospital. My prayer is that if not immediately maybe in time the nerve pain will subside and I will gain some sanity back.
I think I will do another post on my implant decisions later but in the meantime if you are dying to know more about expanders, or reconstruction, or the evil capsular contracture check out my learning links section.
Well, that’s all for now.
Love and Light
Asabi
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