falling far from the tree...

Day 18/366

2012-01-21T23:53:00.000-05:00

I happen to look up at this note today that was taped to my office wall and noticed it coincidentally had today's date. A co-worker and friend had it taped to her wall and gave it to me when she left our organization last year. This affirmation not only came right on time for what I was going through today but it also is a great reminder of what I should be doing everyday...Letting Go, Letting God.

Day 17/366

2012-01-19T14:18:00.002-05:00

Before leaving Florida to go back home I made my brother Amon show me his Purple Heart. I've never seen it since he received it a couple of years ago and he humbly never talks about it. On the day he "earned" his Purple Heart in Afghanistan, he lost three friends that he valiantly tried to save despite almost losing his own life. I can only imagine how he felt that day. I know he would give anything to have them back...even this honor.

Day 16/366

2012-01-18T11:55:00.001-05:00

After spending most of the day shopping at the Destin outlets I decided to spend my last night in slumber party mode with the kids. Popcorn..check. Kid friendly movies..check. New footed pajamas for everyone..double check! That's me with the monkey feet by the way. :)

Day 15/366

2012-01-17T21:42:00.000-05:00

It may have only been 67 degrees in Destin Florida today but it was still a gorgeous day at the beach. The sun was shining, the waves were crashing and the water was a clear and amazing blue. I realize I feel my most peaceful, my most beautiful, and my most "at home" near the ocean. But no ocean is wide enough nor magnificent enough to compare to the amount of love I feel for my little ones.

Day 14/366

2012-01-16T23:54:00.001-05:00

What this trip to Florida was all about..Spending time with my family and celebrating my niece Aliana's 7th birthday. It was filled with Barbie dolls, Barbie decor and a beautiful Barbie cake. Truly the stuff little girl dreams are made of.

Day 13/366

2012-01-14T22:19:00.000-05:00

While visiting my brother and his family in Florida I went to a friend's baby shower with my sister n law Claudia. Something about being around all the joyful expectant mothers (half the women there) and looking at all the cute baby clothes and other adorable newborn swag pulled at my heart strings and made me really happy to be a part of welcoming their blessing. Nonetheless, I am even more happy that the only cute clothes and swag that I get to indulge in nowadays....are my own.

Day 12/366

2012-01-14T19:30:00.000-05:00

This is my interpretation of this week's photo challenge "Think Up". I had 20 minutes before my flight from DC to Fort Walton Beach Florida departed and I am a notoriously nervous flyer so liquid courage always helps. Being in the airport afforded me several opportunities to take pictures of airplanes but that would have been too obvious. Lucky for me the bartender was heavy handed so not only was I "Think(ing) Up" after this Long Island Ice Tea I was feeling pretty "Up" as well. :)

Day 11/366

2012-01-11T22:58:00.002-05:00

This!!.. my friends is what you get when you come out of your doctor's office TWO MINUTES after the meter ran out. DC parking authorities will now be $100 richer. I hope they choke on it!!! :(

Day 10/366

2012-01-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. - Andy Rooney

There is definitely a lot less glory in the messes made 2 weeks after Christmas day.

2012-01-10T13:44:00.001-05:00

Day 9/366

2012-01-09T21:18:00.001-05:00

1st snow of the season in the DC area today and it actually stuck a little. Just when I decided to go to lunch it started to really come down. It was sooo pretty looking at it from my office window not so much through my glasses.

Day 8/366

2012-01-08T22:36:00.000-05:00

I went to my first Masquerade party last night and had a great time. The mask is a keeper! :)

Day 7/366

2012-01-08T22:35:00.000-05:00

Two months after hernia surgery I am taking my first steps back in the gym. After searching for an hour I finally found my shoes under the bed... Dusty and longing to feel the outside world.

Day 6/366

2012-01-08T22:32:00.000-05:00

This was left on my desk this morning. Someone is trying to sabotage my diet....Bastards!

Day 5/366

2012-01-08T22:29:00.000-05:00

Today was a Kors and cuffs kind of day.

Day 4/366

2012-01-08T22:23:00.000-05:00

Lunch with my ginger haired workmate and friend Robby.

Day 3/366

2012-01-08T22:18:00.000-05:00

Sarcasm..embodied.

Day 2/366

2012-01-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

The intention was to buy one coat but I somehow came home with two. Indecisiveness can be a very expensive personality trait.

Day 1/366

2012-01-08T22:09:00.000-05:00

Nothing like starting off the New Year right by eating black eyed peas (for luck) made by friends (with love) and the experience of standing together hand in hand in a gratitude circle feeling blessed and hopeful about the future.

Reflections in the Puddles

2012-01-08T22:03:00.000-05:00

The last time I posted was a year ago and no, the irony is not lost on me. I promise to do better this time..really. Part of my motivation is coming from joining a Facebook group called Project 365, Picture a Day 2012. We challenge each other to take a picture a day for the whole year. Want to join? Need some pointers? Here's a great way to start. I'm not a photographer, I just like to take pictures and I do so with a crummy Sony Cyber shot and my BlackBerry. But what I lack in fancy equipment I make up for with artistic enthusiasm. The point isnt to take amazing pictures everyday but to make the effort to document your year.

After just a week of participating in this project I realize how hyper aware I am of my surroundings. From the time I wake up I'm looking around trying to find the "perfect shot". In doing so, I'm noticing EVERYTHING. How the sun shines through the trees, the rhythm of the headlights during traffic, how my reflection looks in a rain puddle.

So while most of the pictures will be ordinary and mundane and by no means awe-inspiring I hope to be able to write about not only how I felt in the moment of that picture but to open myself up to writing about other experiences as well.

Here's to capturing extraordinary pictures and living even more extraordinary lives.

Supernovas

2011-01-17T21:46:00.001-05:00

feels like a million light

years in the past

that we were

bright

shining examples of love

we were

light

on the verge of

casting out shadows

and banishing dark clouds

of memories

that now seem too loud

to be silenced

but I will quiet my fears and take hold

as I must
of the reality of what we now are

its hard
knowing that all this human dust

was once a star

a rare phenom

now imploded

and over

but once

a million times brighter

than the sun

supernovas

I Get By with a Lil' Help from My Friends

2011-01-06T17:57:00.000-05:00

So yeah..this is my life right now.

I'm working 10-12 hours a day and its starting to take its toll. So to get by, I have made 5 hour energy drinks (pomegranate flavor) my best friend but today I thought I'd turn it up a notch and find me an even better friend. :)

Everyday on my way to work I pass a cute little knick knack shop called Coffee and Tea Works near Dupont Circle. Well today I noticed a going out of business sign with everything 50% off. I'm a sucker for knick knacks and oddities and especially those that are on sale. As soon as I walked in I saw this adorable flask and thought it was only fitting to get it since every proper girl should have one...even if you just fill it with Kool-aid (the red kind). I happily brought it back to my office and its been **winking** at me ever since.

So who cares that my job is driving me to drink...at least I can now do it with style like the classy dame that I am.

Cheers!

Here's to the Foul Weather Friends

2011-01-02T21:23:00.000-05:00

So it’s officially 2011 and unlike most of the world I have not been in deep contemplation about my New Years resolutions. I think I’m just a little bored with the idea and I’d like to think I am already constantly resolving to be a better me…physically, mentally, emotionally and financially; and those goals should not have start or end dates. However, I will say that I have recently resolved to try to change a certain bad habit of mine.

I was knee deep in another emotional upheaval in the slapstick comedy drama that is my life and a recent chapter was something like this:

Girl meets boy and falls in love
Girl is happy and all is alright with the world
Boy breaks up with Girl
Girl tries to overdose in a vat of strawberry cheesecake

And scene.

Overly simplified and dramatic but you get the picture.

But in the midst of wallowing in that situation along with dealing with a myriad of other financial and family issues I was stopped in my tracks by a dear friend that called me out on my habit of ignoring his calls and avoiding him for no real good reason. I explained that I didn’t want to burden him or most people with the negative aspects of my life and would rather only call or see people when I have good things to talk about. He told me that we would continue to be friends whether I was happy or sad and a little sadness wasn’t going to scare him away. How awesome is that? Even more awesome is the fact that I am blessed to have numerous friends and family who feel the same way about me and it’s just my own insecure hang ups that keep me from connecting more intimately to the people that love me best.

In the past I’ve always felt that talking about ones problems could be considered emotionally self indulgent and more so a luxury that some people just can not afford. Do you think people in third world countries are complaining that they only got a 3% raise or that their Jaguar only takes premium gas? Do you know how much it would cost in Uganda to drown your sorrows in a vat of strawberry cheesecake? A lot.

Of course allowing folks “in” is easier said than done and it’s quite a humbling, even embarrassing matter to admit that life is not going your way at any particular moment and you may need a shoulder to lean on. But, I had to realize that I am always going to be going thru something. IT’S CALLED LIFE...and sometimes it sucks big hairy monkey balls. But more importantly, I had to realize I can not go through it alone. No one can.

So if I had to have a resolution this year it would be to be more vulnerable and open and allow my loved ones to be there for me in the foul weather as well as the fair… and I hope that they allow me to do the same.

Happy New Years!!!

"Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
– Dinah Craik

shower scenes

2010-12-12T18:24:00.013-05:00

i pretended i couldn't hear
when you said you had to go home

i knew this time
it was goodbye
and not goodnight

i turned the water hotter
to compensate for the iciness in your words

peeking thru the curtain i see you write
"i love you"
in the steamed mirror

i bury my head in the scalding water
hoping to wash my head of you

like you've washed your hands of me

Joy Arises

2009-11-07T22:17:00.006-05:00

as i am fixated

on the clock

the years

pass by

tick tock

try as I may to stop

the tears

drip drop

they fall still

drowning out his grace

but i'm deciding to instead

embrace

the fear

the sadness
the anger
and invite them to tea
cause we have no time
to be
enemies

tick tock
the years pass by
with or without enlightenment
drip drop
so scared the sky
is falling
when it really is just rain

change
is the only constant

so its time
to align
all words thoughts and actions
its time
to remove all disguises
forgive the infractions
of the past
and know that the present
is where real joy arises

from the ash
of our lesser selves

-asabi

God's Lent Child

2009-10-29T20:22:00.001-04:00

I’ll lend you for a little while, a child of mine, God said
For you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she’s dead.
It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three
But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?

She’ll bring her charms to gladden you and should her stay be brief
You’ll always have her memories as a solace in your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked this whole world over in my search for teachers true
And from the folk that crowd Life’s lane I have chosen you.
Now will you give her all your love and not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take this lent child back again?

I fancy that I heard them say “Dear God, thy will be done.
For all the joys this child will bring the risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter her with tenderness, we’ll love her while we may
And for all the happiness we’ve ever known, we’ll ever grateful stay.
But should the angels call her much sooner than we’d planned
We will brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."

~ Author Unknown

Ode to a lost one...

2009-06-06T12:41:00.009-04:00

I only cried once for you today.

I felt a ghost of a kiss
and opened my eyes
half expecting you to be there.

Will you be the same
when we meet again?

Or just a faint resemblance
of someone I use to know.

-asabi

I'm back..sort of

2009-01-29T00:19:00.001-05:00

So lets start this off slow.
Excuse me If this reads as one big ramble but its been so long since I've posted anything I have to figure out how to get my thoughts on screen back in order. I've even seemed to have forgotten my password. But I thought I'd try back at this whole blogging thing. I'm not quite sure why I had such a long hiatus but I think I was just a bit bored with living life and then reporting on living life so I just decided to just live my life. I had even given up on reading all my favorite blogs so I apologize to all my fabulous blogger friends I have months of reading to catch up on.

Ok that wasnt so bad. I guess I'll try it again soon.

YES WE DID!!!! YES WE DID!!!!

2008-11-05T00:13:00.005-05:00

As I write this I am so emotionally spent I cant see straight. I could write a book on all the feelings I've had through out this election but it still wouldn't adequately convey my thoughts. More than anything else I am so proud to be able to share this historic moment with my grandma who never thought she would live to see this day But my heart hurts that his own grandma didn't live to see it herself.

Tonight..My hope for humanity has been restored and I can now say I am proud to be a American!!

I am also one step closer to my private special alone time with Barack in the Lincoln room... Think I can't?

Yes I can!!! Yes I can!!!

Vote For Change

2008-11-02T18:38:00.002-05:00

Click here for more videos from Vote For Change

Go Shawtay It's ya Birfday...

2008-10-16T11:47:00.006-04:00

Yeah yeah...So I'm celebrating my birthday today woo hoo! But more importantly I'm also celebrating the 75th birthday of my beautiful abuela. Isn't she a fox? I just hope I am able to not only make it to 75 but do it with as much grace and love for her family as she has. Love ya Gwennie!

And for all you people that get hot over linguistics there is even more reason to celebrate. Today is Dictionary Day!! It commemorates the birthday of American lexicographer Noah Webster, born October 16, 1758.

So go ape shyt over a game of scrabble today in honor of ole' Noah and while you're at it have a drink for Gwennie and her granddaughter.

I'm Voting for "That One"

2008-10-09T18:22:00.005-04:00

Gone but not forgotten

2008-10-05T12:47:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to thank all my friends for all the prayers and well wishes I received regarding my brother. For those of you that did not know he was injured when his Humvee hit a roadside bomb last week. Cut, bruised and left with a concussion we are beyond blessed to have him with us.

Three of his "brothers" were killed in the incident. Sgt. 1st Class Jamie S. Nicholas, and Sgt. 1st Class Gary J. Vasquez(both pictured right next to Amon at the far left) and Captain Ritchie Cliff.

For their families I send my deepest condolences. These are the times that makes me the most vulnerable and disenchanted with the polices of our military and government as a whole. How many more people have to die? As my friend Jay told me the only thing we can do is VOTE. So please be sure to make your voice heard and vote for the one person that will get our troops home. I really dont want to write any more posts about this.

delayed devotion

2008-09-16T23:59:00.009-04:00

the not so quiet footsteps of the past
try to drown out my ever so hopeful voice
yet and still
im taking in all of your delayed devotion
like some elixir of the gods
promising to cure all that ails me

i continue to ask myself
what was the worst part of my disease?
pretending
like you didn't leave me for dead
or pretending
like i didn't let you

as i overestimate my ability to forget
your own redemption
may very well be delayed
as i remain frayed
at the ends
BUT STILL INTACT
and devoted
to the possibilities

-asabi

Brain Fog

2008-09-14T00:18:00.000-04:00

will post soon.

Racist Product Endorsements

2008-09-04T22:14:00.012-04:00

Chick1 [10:38 P.M.]: hey, sidenote:

Chick1 [10:38 P.M.]: don't you have thin, white-girl lips
Chick1 [10:38 P.M.]: ?
CHICK2 [10:39 P.M.]: who me????
Chick1 [10:39 P.M.]: lol
Chick1 [10:39 P.M.]: yes, sort of
CHICK2 [10:39 P.M.]: ive been told that..yes
CHICK2 [10:39 P.M.]: lol
Chick1 [10:39 P.M.]: today when i went to sephora, they told me i qualified for my free gift b/c i had spent 100 bucks
Chick1 [10:39 P.M.]: and one of my free gifts was some damn Lip Plumper
Chick1 [10:40 P.M.]: and i was like "what the hell am i gonna do with this"
CHICK2 [10:40 P.M.]: rofl!!
Chick1 [10:40 P.M.]: so the girl was like, just use it as a lip gloss
Chick1 [10:40 P.M.]: now isn't that racist?
CHICK2 [10:40 P.M.]: basically
Chick1 [10:40 P.M.]: so, i was gonna find a white girl on the metro with no lips and hand it to her
Chick1 [10:40 P.M.]: but i'll just give it to you...my black friend with white features
Chick1 [10:40 P.M.]: lol
CHICK2 [10:41 P.M.]: yes..i will gladly plump my lips up..
CHICK2 [10:42 P.M.]: although fekade says i have the best lips for any race
Chick1 [10:43 P.M.]: really...well, that's cuz he's african
CHICK2 [10:43 P.M.]: but i have never gotten over my great grandfather giving me the name "perch mouth" like the fish??!?? he always called me that when i was little..i dont even think he knew my name
CHICK2 [10:43 P.M.]: and all africans have big lips?? You're the damn racist!!

BTW it works. My lips have never been bigger...muahz!

Barack loves Da' Kids!!

2008-08-30T15:50:00.004-04:00

And they love him too!!!

3 years, 2 months, 1 week and 2 days ago

2008-08-28T21:21:00.005-04:00

after all this time

your eyes

still carry

the weight

of the world

after all this time

our graying hair

is no longer

so premature

unlike

that hallway embrace

after all this time

i guess

i just wasn’t ready to face

the inevitable onslaught

of memories

creeping up

to haunt

the both of us

after all this time

I still feel so porous

-asabi

Happy Blogaversary to me!!!

2008-08-26T00:17:00.006-04:00

Well... well... well... who would have thought I still would be doing this after my first post a year ago?

Not me!! But here I am 107 posts later. And while I can be pretty lazy with the timing of my entries and I probably won’t win any literary awards, I do think blogging has challenged me to be more introspective and has given me the creative outlet I so desperately needed.

More so than anything I am grateful for the chance to be a part of my community of talented blogger friends (Ginger, Lex, Jay, Nichole, Kenn and Rashad) who have made this site a much cheaper form of therapy. You “get” me and thank you for that. So for you and the other 3 people that read this nonsense do me a favor and let me know what some of your favorite posts were this year.

And please continue to comment. This is after all a purely ego driven endeavor so I need to know you are out there. And that you like me….you really really like me.

Namaste.

Question of the week weak

2008-08-24T19:56:00.002-04:00

How long can you sit on the fence before your ass starts to hurt??

Frivolous Saturday Fun

2008-08-16T17:37:00.008-04:00

Here are my new "virtual alter-egos" from Face Your Manga.

The site has lots of different combinations for hair, face features and clothes. I was able to get pretty close to my look even down to the "beauty mark" on my cheek. I think I would look kinda hot in a alternative cartoon universe. What do you think? Be sure to send me yours.

pequeño bebé del feliz cumpleaños!!

2008-08-13T14:13:00.004-04:00

Happy Birthday to you Amon! Wow 25 already?? Seems like yesterday you were sucking your thumb and kicking unsuspecting bystanders in the shin.

And while you may be 7000 miles away from us now please know that you are never far from our hearts. A bridge over trouble waters for you we will be..today and always.

Let's hope the Taliban gives you a break today. xoxox

Gone to the great casting call in the sky

2008-08-10T16:30:00.003-04:00

WTF??!!?? Was there a shortage of available talent in heaven or something? My heartfelt condolences and prayers go out to the families of Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes. Both were great talents in their own right.

How sad and ironic is it that they were in the process of filming a movie together with Samuel Jackson.
Let's hope we don't lose him too. :(

Put up or Shut up

2008-08-06T23:29:00.009-04:00

So, I was having a conversation with one of my best girlfriends in the whole wide world about what else? Relationships!!! and how her on again/off again man of 14 years has finally agreed to really be ON. After years of being together, breaking up, being with other people and the like she finally said enough was enough. She gave him a final ultimatum to put up or shut up. Now, it goes without saying that this is a gorgeous and smart woman we are talking about here and her BF is a highly intelligent, seemingly thoughtful man in his mid 30s. Both great catches in their own right. But for him there were always a myriad of excuses in the past as to why he couldn’t fully commit to marriage. And for her I guess there was only one real excuse as to why she didn’t totally erase him from her memory bank forever after year 4. She loved him.

I was then reminded of a birthday party I went to some months back and in attendance were a varied group of singles and couples mostly in some stage of their 30’s. Inevitably, after many libations and specifically for me some of the strongest sangria I’ve ever had, the conversation turned to dating and relationships. If I remember correctly, it started out with us girls discussing some of my dating mishaps and my friend was expounding on her very funny and true theories on men, especially men in their late 30’s. "Sperm Shooters" are what she calls them. “Sperm Shooters” are men who decide after years and years of sowing oats that it’s time to finally “settle down” and spread their seeds in whatever lucky woman he happens to be currently dating, sleeping with or ordering a double shot mocha latte from. Her definition received roaring laughter from those in ear shot and got the attention of a one “Barber” who was sitting nearby.

Barber was a decent looking man in his 50s who seemed to exude some sort of wisdom (too much sangria+ silliness= old man exuding wisdom), which got my inquisitive mind to wonder. When did he become a “sperm shooter”? I assumed that not only would tell me he had been happily married for 20 years but he would graciously bless me with all the secrets to not only a blissful union but perhaps finding the right man for myself. Instead, we all let out an audible gasp when he said that he not only has never been married but has been in 8 year relationship and is just now getting to the point where he could “possibly” be ready for marriage. WTF! So of course we go into full “subject dissect” mode to find out what gives.

***Disclaimer: by no means do I think marriage is the end all be all of everyone’s existence. And if two people agree that they do not need a legally binding, government sanctioned contract to exist then more power to them.

After a little more digging we find out this is not the case. Barber’s 39 year old girlfriend was pretty ready from jump to be married and after who knows how much drama had finally given an ultimatum to put up or shut up. Of course the question the four women surrounding him in awe (and a little bit of pity) had was HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO KNOW YOU LOVE SOMEONE????

He starts to sweat as he searches for the words. He goes on and on about while he loves her and always has there are things a man needs to do mentally to be ready for such things. He even pulled the race card (his girlfriend is white) by telling us that a black man has the added pressures of the world…blah blah blah... and sometimes these things take time. Really? You don’t say?

So I ask him how long should a woman be ready to wait for a man. He says “forever if she loves him”. My sangria buzz was almost non-existent by this point. I shake my head at the thought of waiting for someone for 8 years, 14 years or even 2 years at this point. Maybe I’m naive and a bit quixotic but I feel like four full seasons (summertime can be a doozy) is all you need to see if two people have what it takes to love each other enough to know they are at least willing to make it a go. Am I wrong?

As far as I’m concerned Common said it best. “It don’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine”

words on paper.

2008-08-03T00:47:00.004-04:00

our story is not to be defined.

we were more than just...

possessive adjectives

compounded by negative pronouns

unattached participles floating

in semantics and satire

non-action verbs

overshadowing indefinite articles

ironic metaphors sharing air quotes

with sarcastic understatements

complex prepositions

italicized in comic sans

unrealistic nouns dreaming

of future predicates

capital letters screaming

out incomplete sentences

missed periods overshadowing

hypothetical question marks

we were more than just...

words on paper.

-asabi

It should be a National Holiday!

2008-07-30T10:51:00.004-04:00

For those of you that are semi-obsessed with cheesecake like me (pumpkin..oh how i love ya), you will be happy to know that today is National Cheesecake Day! And in celebration of their 30 years on this planet The Cheesecake Factory is selling all cheesecake slices for the 1978 price of $1.50! Can't beat that. I'll be heading down to the Clarendon location at some point today.

Woo Hoo!

Cellar Dwellers

2008-07-28T22:02:00.006-04:00

And so you have dragged me here
Only to abandon me???
Happy in my own existence
I didn't ask to come
But now it is clear
You leave me neither water nor light
Only the ability to hear
the ever so faint sounds
Of your laughter.

-asabi

Scenes from the Courthouse metro

2008-07-26T10:21:00.007-04:00

It's 10:20 p.m. I'm walking thru the station on my way home.

stalkerguy: Excuse me miss..don't I know you?
me: no.

(I start picking up my pace down the escalator. And so does he.)

stalkerguy: Hey, wait I do know you. I never forget a beautiful face. We met here before. I gave you my number. you never called.
me: No, you forced your card on me and I told you then that I wasn't interested. Then you stared me down on the train. I'm still not interested. So leave me alone..please.

(I walk further down the platform nervously awaiting the train. He follows.)

stalkerguy: Hey, I was just being friendly BITCH! Maybe you should try it sometime.

(I swallow the progressing anger and fear I'm feeling inside as I try to ignore him and fiddle with my ipod. There are just a few people around. They look more amused than concerned. I can hear the train coming thru the tunnel. And not soon enough.)

stalkerguy: It's not like I wont see you again.

(Shivers go up and down my spine when he says that. A few moments later I hurry on the train hoping he wont follow)

Thank God he doesn't. This time.

Freaks come out at Knight

2008-07-19T18:01:00.006-04:00

So I went to see The Dark Knight last night. I don't normally get involved in blockbuster first night madness. Well except for Sex and the City. But I was coerced into going. I haven't experienced anything like the juggernaut that is this movie. The lines were around the corner. People were pushing for available seats and acting straight foolish. Despite the insanity I was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. Award winning? Nah. But entertaining nonetheless. I think Heath would be proud.

I'm free bitches!

2008-07-19T16:28:00.008-04:00

Wow. What a week. I’ve had the emotional sensations equivalent of being squashed like a bug. But like anything else you dust yourself off, keep your head up and add a lil more hair to the voodoo dolls. To clear my head I decided to take a much needed day off to visit with my fabulous cousin Lisa who was in town from NYC.

With only a couple hours to hang we went to lunch and caught up on our family, careers, men and the like. I’ve always admired Lisa, even as a little girl. I love that she travels to foreign countries by herself, has turned into this quintessential stylish but tough new yorker while still maintaining her L.A. joie de vivre and "valley gurl" accent.

On a whim we went to visit the African American Civil War museum on U Street and I’m so glad we did. Just so happen that this week was the 10th Anniversary Celebration of the Unveiling of the Spirit of Freedom Memorial, designed by sculptor, Ed Hamilton. It’s now a national monument located at 10th & U Streets, NW, Washington, DC. The memorial is also surrounded by a Wall of Honor which list the names of 209,145 troops who served in the “United States Colored Troops” during the Civil War.

We also checked out the museum a couple blocks away, located at 12th and U Street, and was met by the museum’s Curator and Assistant Director, Hari Jones. Mr. Jones was a passionate, engaging and articulate speaker. He spoke on the inaccuracies of what we all know as Juneteenth. The term is a contraction for June 19th, the date in 1865 when Major General Gordon Granger landed at Galveston, Texas, and announced that slavery in that former Confederate state had ended and that all African Americans were free. Despite the fact that Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation became official January 1, 1863. The popular belief was that African Americans not only did very little to ensure their own freedom but didn’t have the wherewithal to know they were actually freed until over two years later. The reality is that the Proclamation didn’t really free any slaves immediately but did in fact open the doors for over 200,000 black soldiers to join the military and help to courageously earn their own freedom.

In any case we learned a great deal yesterday about our history and each other and it made me feel so very grateful for the daily freedoms we all take for granted. It was a good day. I needed that.

If you forget about me

2008-07-18T08:05:00.002-04:00

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:

if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

by Pablo Neruda

silent noir

2008-07-16T08:39:00.002-04:00

waiting for you
is reminiscent
of watching
a old black and white movie
pretending
its in technicolor
pretending
i haven't seen this ending
a hundred times before
pretending
it hadn't made me cry
every time

-asabi

A great song for my Emo' Mondays

2008-07-14T16:55:00.004-04:00

Right under my feet there's air made of bricks
Pulls me down turns me weak for you
I find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I'm forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love
I'm the only one in love

Each and every time I turn around to leave
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed
So desperately I try to link it with my head
But instead I fall back to my knees
As you tear your way right through me
I forgive you once again
Without me knowing
You've burnt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love
I'm the only one in love

Why do you steal my hand
Whenever I'm standing my own ground
You build me up, then leave me dead

Well I hear your words you made up
So I say your name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love
I'm the only one in love

You think your job is bad?

2008-07-11T10:06:00.000-04:00

Just when I was busy hating the humdrum existence that is my job, this man reminded me that things could be a lot worse. I'm sure this unsuspecting fellow didn't appreciate me snapping shots of him washing my office windows but that's what the "easily amused" do.

I found out that window cleaners on average make about $18,790 a year. In my mind that amount of money is not worth potentially losing your life for. I guess I'm pretty lucky that my biggest work injury risk is a severe paper cut.

Count your blessings.

Great Great News!!!

2008-07-09T22:22:00.000-04:00

My sister n' law has gotten her visa approved and is on her way home from Mexico as I type this!!!! I can't thank you guys enough for the letters, well wishes and prayers you sent our way. There wouldn't have been a happy ending with out them!!!!

Flintstone or Fab???

2008-07-07T19:35:00.000-04:00

And since we are on the subject of feet I will confess a long time concern regarding my own. As the previous post’s pledge #10 clearly states: one shall not let one's friend wear sandals with creepy feet. So I'm counting on you all to tell me the truth.

I personally do not think my toes look like fingers but just the other day someone at work mentioned how long my toes were and I felt a old twinge of childhood insecurity creep up.

It all started several years ago with my uncle Marcus telling me that I had flintstone feet and there was something extremely weird about my 2^nd toe being longer than my big toe. He unmercifully cracked on me every time I had on sandals. And since then I've had several people make jokes about my feet.

"I bet you can type 90 wpm....with your feet"
"When you are driving do you talk on the phone and use your feet to steer?"

And my all time favorite joke was when my ex would grab my ankles and ask me to "high five" him.

Now of course when I go to get pedicures the nice Asian lady always tells me I have pretty feet and hands like royalty. And of course I believe her even though there was that time she held up my foot to show the lady next to her, said something in Korean and started laughing. In my mind I assumed she was laughing with the joy one gets with seeing something so extraordinarily beautiful. OK..maybe not.

But the point is so what? After many years of closed toe summers I finally decided that I am completely happy with my finger-toes. If for no other reason than to have extra digits to type this here blog.

The Open Toe Shoe Pledge

2008-07-01T08:42:00.001-04:00

It's officially summertime in the city so I figured I'd post a favorite pledge of mine. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below...

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

1) I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

2) I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

3) I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

4) I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

5) I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

6) I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there. If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

7) I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

8) I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern fo r my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

9) I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

10) I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

11) I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 or $20 and worth EVERY penny).

12) I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show sign s of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

I'm back..She's Not

2008-06-29T17:33:00.003-04:00

So I’m back from a little creative slump in the blogging department. That’s not to say there hasn't been any interesting things happening in my life. It's actually more of the contrary but I just haven’t had the energy to put those thoughts out to the world.

For those of you that may not know I have been pretty busy helping my sister n’ law Claudia get back in the country from Mexico. She has been detained there for several weeks with visa issues. Basically staying with strangers, she is in a small town outside of Guadalajara alone, away from her babies and those that love her most.

Until all of this happened I must say I was extremely ignorant of the immigration laws and all the political poppycock that goes along with it, but I'm quickly learning. I wont go into alot of detail but I will say that the laws and the people enforcing them seem to be extremely discriminatory against black and brown folks.

She went down there voluntarily to resolve a situation her parents should have taken care of when they brought her to this country as a baby. Married to my brother for almost seven years you would think she would have no problems becoming a US citizen but things have not turned out so easy.

The good news? Through contacts at the US Consulate’s office she was able to get an earlier visa appointment then her scheduled August 23^rd date.

The bad news? They can still deny her re-entry and ban her for ten years. In the meantime I’ve been asking friends and family to write letters on her behalf pleading for her re-entry. I have been so very touched by the response and the concern I've received so far. You never really realize how big your circle is until you start to reach out and touch the sides.

So I ask to please keep the prayers coming for her July 7^th appointment. And I’ll get back to trying to post on a regular basis.

Where is the justice???

2008-06-13T16:37:00.004-04:00

This amazing journalist dies and that pedophile R. Kelly gets off.

What a sad sad day. :(

People I want to shoot: Volume 1

2008-06-05T22:36:00.003-04:00

I want to shoot people that carry on lengthy slap your knee conversations with Bus drivers. Bus drivers who need to be concentrating on getting me to my destination safely.

And while we are talking about Bus drivers. I want to shoot the driver on the route b22 bus. She has been taking too many liberties with my life lately. With her precarious turns on ramp exits and her speeding across lanes on the freeway... she makes me crazy nervous.

She obviously can't be trusted to make superior decisions as she is a black woman who wears a white wig and fake white eyelashes. Where they do that at? I bet you a mojito her government name is Betty but she goes by Chantal or Diamond or some other signifier ghetto people quantify as unique and worldly. All that aside I'm sure there are plenty of people that will miss her if she were gone so let's hope she starts driving with some caution. Otherwise, I might have to turn her pretty little wig.. red.

Happy Friday!!!! :)

-2 Balls and 8 Lives Later

2008-06-02T22:06:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to take a moment of silence to pay respects to the cat formerly known as “Kaiser with testicles”.

As of today He is now and forever more known as “Mr. Sassy pants no balls” to you. I finally broke down and got him fixed. I was kind of hesitant on getting it done because contrary to popular belief (Jay) I do not take extreme pleasure in busting balls. I’d much rather take pleasure in other ball related activities (get your mind out the gutter Rashad) like Badminton.

But I digress.

I had no choice but to fix the lil fella because he was turning into a nasty lust bucket and my feet were the unfortunate objects of his desire. Every night, at some time between the hours of 1-5 am he would start molesting them...yeah, I know...gross. Normally, I would welcome a lil humping action in my boudoir but this is not exactly what I had in mind.

Now that it’s over, I think we will both be happier. He will soon lose that loving feeling and will be able to live the rest of his docile life in Zen like chastity. Me? I can finally get a good night’s rest without being awaken to crazed animal sounds. And most importantly, my lil piggies can go to the market peacefully without getting sodomized within an inch of their lives.

My new favorite "white girl dance" jam

2008-05-26T20:31:00.003-04:00

my hip swivel..hair toss..giggle is AMAZING on this song..enjoy and have a great week folks!

To My Chyna doll...

2008-05-22T11:09:00.003-04:00

Happy Happy Sweet Sixteen!!!

This blog isnt big enough to post all that I feel for you!

(will post more later but I just wanted to give you a quick birthday shoutout) :)

Band-aids

2008-05-18T22:54:00.000-04:00

I’m sitting here thinking about the events of the weekend and how I am so glad to finally be on the train.

I have my sunglasses on so no one can see my eyes are swollen with tears. I wish I was home already so I could do the undignified mascara running, snot dripping, talking in hiccuppy sentences cry. Cries like the ones you use to do when you were a kid and God forbid you miss the ice-cream truck and all of your friends are happily parading their freeze pops in your face and teasing you unmercifully.

But, instead I hold back so I am not furthermore known as the “crazy crying woman on the train” that some other blogger writes about. I hold back like I’ve been doing all weekend so the kids wouldnt see me all emo.

I was putting a band-aid on my niece Amaya this morning and she asked me why I looked sad. I lied and told her it was because my back was hurting and she asked me if I wanted a band-aid cause they always make her hurts feel better. I didn’t want her to worry cause her Auntie was distressed at the thought of her Daddy going away to Afghanistan (thank god for spell check cause I can never spell it right. As many times as I have to write it you would think I would know but it’s as if my mind wants to block out any comprehension of this country, let alone how to spell it) again.

I feel guilty that I am even allowing myself the luxury of sadness when it’s really my sister n law that has the real burden of being separated from her husband, lover and best friend till February. It is her that has to take care of 3 little ones who are already acting out today because they don’t understand why Daddy must go to “work” and won’t be back for a very long time.

The scene at the train station went better than expected. Amon is the last one I hug and I don’t want to let go. He laughs to stop me from crying and tells me he will be fine. He jokes that he is just going on a vacation and time will fly by. That he will email me often and send pic updates via Myspace. I nod and wipe my face because we all have to be strong for the kids.

I’ll try to sleep on the train but I know I won’t be able to. I know that there will be many more sleepless nights ahead until he is back again. I just hope I don’t have to go back to taking pills to keep the nightmares at bay.

I start to think about that real life nightmare when he was about 3 years old and I allowed him to wander off at the park instead of watching him like I was supposed to do. Our parents and everyone else in shouting distance looked for him for over an hour. I remember being so scared at the thought of him being lost forever. But being the smart ass that he was (and still is) he found a policeman and told him that “his mommy and daddy were lost and he needed help finding them”.

Thank God that story had a happy ending but the thought that his mommy and daddy are still perpetually “lost” and I am the only one in our immediate family to make the effort to see him off before deployment …makes me sad.

The thought of all those other children who are now living without fathers because they never came back from the same place he is going back to today….makes me sad.

But more so than anything the thought of my Little Boy Blue possibly not being able to find his way back home this time around makes my heart hurt and there isn’t a band-aid in the world big enough to fix it right now.

Red Lobster is still da Shyt

2008-05-17T21:48:00.001-04:00

Anybody remember when Red Lobster use to be considered fine dining?

I have many fond memories of going there on special occasions as a kid. I remember my parents taking me there for my 7th birthday and how grown-up I felt being in such a “fancy” restaurant. It is a very poignant memory for me as it was the last time we had any special occasions with just the three of us because my brother Maku was born 2 months later and Amon 2 years after that. Within 3 years of that birthday my father would be leaving us.

Anyways, Amon still enjoys Red Lobster to this day so we decided to go there for his last night before deployment and as an early birthday celebration for Chyna.

We went with some family friends Noelia and Carlos and their two sons.

Along with our 3 little ones and Chyna (who is quick to tell you that we can longer consider her a child even though she still gets stuck at the kid table) we were a force to be reckoned with for the wait staff.

The conversation inevitably turns to my love life again and why I don’t ever bring anyone home. They say I’m too picky and I think too much about it. That I should just settle on the next nice guy I meet and make him mine. I tell them they don’t understand and even though they were all lucky enough to find each other it really isn’t that easy. My brother worries about me being alone and wants me to finally find someone good enough to take care of me as much as I try to take care of everyone else. Ultimately, I want that too. I’m just not ready to settle for just any nice guy. I’d rather be by myself then be with someone I don’t love wholeheartedly.

Recently, I half-jokingly told one of my friends that he was “the object of my affection” and he wanted to know how could I be so sure of my feelings for him. I told him it wasn’t something I could put into words but I was pretty sure. He didn’t seem convinced. I told him I would think about the “why?” and I would get back to him.

I wanted my response to be lofty and poetic and I wanted to use grand sweeping gestures with my words in the hopes that he could adequately comprehend what I felt. I thought about it and thought some more and just couldn’t find the words. It made think that maybe nothing was there after all if I couldn’t even put it on paper.

Then yesterday on our way back from Red Lobster we passed Chuck E Cheese. All the kids went ape shyt! They begged and pleaded to go inside. They were near tears once they realized we weren’t going to stop. I asked my 3 year old niece Aliana why she loved it so much and she looked at me puzzled and said “Because it’s Chuck E Cheese! And I just do!” So I pressed on...”But …why do you love it?”

And she says “Because I’m a kid and I’m suppose to!!” Hmmm.. Maybe it was less epiphany and more Pina Coladas but the effect was the same. It made perfect sense to me. She may not have had the vocabulary to explain her love but she knew what she knew because she KNEW it.

It got me to thinking that maybe we should all be more childlike and not make love so complicated.

Stop second guessing ourselves and go with what feels right. Maybe we should stop being so afraid to step out on limbs with reckless abandonment even if It means falling far from the tree and getting hurt. Who knows?

All I know is that I pray to God that he always keeps me safely rooted in my girlish romantic sensibilities.
That he keeps me simple.
That he keeps me honest.

And for goodness sake keeps me away from those Red Lobster cheese biscuits.

They are the devil.

Alexander the Great!

2008-05-15T19:20:00.001-04:00

So I'm in Fayetteville, NC (the epicenter of all that is fun and fabulous) visiting my brother and his family for a couple of days and I went to my nephew's t-ball game today. I must admit the whole scene was pretty damn cute. And while I'm not officially admitting to any new "baby fever" I seem to have gotten a slight rise in temperature from lil boys in baseball uniforms.***

Btw. You heard it here first. Alexander Murry will be the next Barry Bonds!!! Minus the steroid use and the lying to the feds stuff.

***disclaimer-this is not to suggest a underlying issue of pedophilia but a more deeper issue of not wanting to take care of a baby but possibly a wee tike in the 3 to 5 year old range. Better?

Chivalry R.I.P.???

2008-05-14T15:57:00.002-04:00

Just when I was starting to doubt the existence of men of a gentle nature I encountered one this morning. The escalator was out at my metro station and I was struggling to get my overly packed suitcase up the stairs. A decent looking "suit and tie" politely offered to carry it for me. Normally, I would put up my "I got this" independent woman stance and decline the offer but lately that hasn't gotten me anything but reoccurring back problems and a jacked up manicure. So I kindly relinquished the bag and all he asked for was a smile in return. Wow. I was giddy the whole way to work! Easily impressed you say? That's a matter of opinion. But I sooo dig a chivalrous guy..that's a fact. Unfortunately we live in a world where general consideration, random acts of kindness and sincere gestures of interest, small and large are rarely expressed (or appreciated).

Some of my friends think its hilarious that I told an otherwise decent guy to kick rocks because he didn't walk me to my car. Um..hello it was 11:30 PM and he let me walk several blocks by myself in DC without so much as a inquiry as to if I got home ok. Unacceptable! But, on the other hand I was totally smitten with one guy because he opened all my doors even though he had a thing for running squirrels over on purpose .... with me in the car. Yes.. He maimed defenseless woodland creatures...but he paid for dinner damn it!

Anyway, my point is that a little chivalry goes along way and ~~every~~ most women want to be treated like a lady. What's that you say? Need some tips on how to impress a woman with your etiquette? Here are some simple ones from AskMen.com

Always open doors
This is perhaps the most basic rule of male etiquette out there. It is also one of the easiest to follow so you have no reason to forget it. Whether she is about to enter your car, restaurant, club, or anyplace with a door, you should always hold it open. If there are many doors, then hold them open one after the other.

Put on her coat
Always help a lady put on her coat or overgarment. This is a simple but powerful action.

Help with her seat
If an unaccompanied lady is sitting next to you, it is important that you help her be seated by pulling her chair out for her and gently pushing it back into place, with the lady seated of course.

Give up your seat
If a lady arrives at the table and there are no available seats, you should stand up and offer yours to her.

Give her your arm
When escorting a lady (that you know) to and from social events, you should offer her your arm. This is a little more intimate, but serves well when walking on uneven ground -- especially if she's wearing high heels.

Ask if she needs anything

Always carry a woman's packages
Let's face it; today's women would probably shoot you a puzzled fleeting look, so at least offer to do so. This lets her know you respect her and are courteous enough to inquire as to her comfort.

Offer your seat to women
Classics are always fashionable. Some feminists would certainly have a fit, but most women will definitely value the gesture.

and My favorite..

Always walk on the curbside of the sidewalk when walking with a woman

Easy right? Good, spread the word.

2008-05-11T21:48:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to Me

2008-05-10T16:01:00.000-04:00

and to all the mothers out there.

A special congrats goes out to my girl Kim who just recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Olivia Camille. Kim has honored me with the duty of being Olivia's Godmother (she obviously doesnt have many friends).

And while we are on the subject of having babies.

Most of my friends are coming into that time in their lives when they are having, wanting and/or obsessing over babies. And while I understand this baby fever in theory, I just dont have it. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a cute baby just like any other wo(man). I ooh and ahh at the appropriate times when I am in their midst. Sometimes I even think about the minute details of what it would be like if I had one. Silly things like how I would decorate the nursery. Of course all baby lust diminishes when I'm in the company of a screaming toddler. Then I think about how glad I am that I dont have to go through that anymore. My child is almost a woman and I am finally at a point in my life where I can be a little more self-centered.

I'm not completely ruling out having another child but it would take an enormous amount of love for a great man or an act of congress to get me to reconsider. I have many thoughts, opinions and hangups about this subject and I'll share what I'm ready to share soon. In the meantime, I have to go buy a gift for yet another baby shower. It's a boy. Say it with me... awwwwwww....

Best pick up line of the week weak

2008-05-06T13:34:00.003-04:00

I want to get to know you better "organically".

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!

2008-05-05T09:45:00.006-04:00

To my sis n'law Claudia, my nieces and nephews and all my other mexican/blaxican friends and family. Way to stick it to those French dogs back in 1862. I will be drinking many margaritas in your honor today.

Viva La Raza!

Dude!!!!!!! I'm Like Totally....

2008-05-03T21:38:00.003-04:00

video.vh1.com

Addicted to the "I love the 80's" show on VH1. I just can't stop watching it!! It's bringing back so many fond and funny childhood memories. Here are some of my favorites: What are some of yours????

-The Cosby Show

-Breakdancing

-PacMan

-My parents first VCR

-Pop Rocks

-Cabbage Patch Kids

-my stoopid fresh gear

-Hanging out at the mall

-Anything Madonna or Wham related

-Red Kool-Aid

-Being able to go to the corner store and get beer and Kools for my mom with just a "note"

The list goes on and on especially for the music.

I'm so following thru with that 80's theme party for my birthday this year (are you listening ginger?)

All you Gnarly folks are invited fer shur!!

Death..the ultimate "bad hair" day

2008-05-01T14:55:00.006-04:00

I was going to post a long tirade about my bad luck lately. I was going to complain about having to pay $500 the other day to get a boot off my car for a ticket that I didn't even know I had. I was in the midst of putting up the streamers for my pity party when I got this text from my friend Dawn. "KAREN DIED TODAY". It knocked the wind out of me. Karen was Dawn's best friend. I had only met her once but kept up with her life though conversations with Dawn. She was 34 and died of "natural causes". I could feel the inconsolable sadness coming from her when she told me what happen. She was numb and quite frankly so was I. It's always shocking to find out someone you actually met, had brunch with and hugged good-bye is no longer alive. I guess its one of those "For Whom the Bell Tolls" moments.

It just put so many things in perspective. It goes without saying that having a loved one die is the ultimate "bad hair day". It tops boots on cars, immature arguments, job disappointments, "he's just not that into you" moments and whatever other insignificant issues we get ourselves in a tizzy about.

I know we all get those "corny" emails reminding us how life is short, how every moment is precious, how we should never miss a chance to tell the ones we love how much they mean to us. But its true. Stop putting it off...visit them, call them, write them, forgive them, hug them, kiss them, fuckin' commit to them already!!!!

And if you don't love them why spend another moment wasting your time or theirs? Because the next 5 years, the next 1 year, the next month, the next day isn't promised. Just ask Karen's 8 month old son.

In Bringing Poetry Month to a Close

2008-04-30T20:49:00.001-04:00

I have to showcase Staceyann Chin. She is perhaps my favorite poet. She's raw, funny, sexy and hauntingly honest. I am trying to be as courageous in my writing.

Here is my latest favorite:

What is sex, Exactly?

Three fingers and a barrier

no fluids/fluids

what about breath/what if she just panted a little
on your panties

what if you kept your top on/in the shower
in the hours before dawn

one finger/no barrier
silk/or lace

her face on your nipple/palm on chest
with bra/without a skirt

one hand under her shirt
no penetration/but you came

what if you got permission
would that mean you cheated

what if the it wasn't that heated
or that good

what if the hood of your jacket
stayed on the whole time
what if you thought of your lover/said her name
a hundred times/under your breath

out loud

should you be proud that you held her
present in every moment

what if there is no dick
no licking of parts deigned genital

what if you only kissed her face
but she opened like a parachute/and bled all over your hands

what if you did it standing in the hallway
of a church
what if you said ten Hail Mary's after it was done

what if it wasn't that much fun
what if you wanted to take it back when you were done

what if there were no lips/no slipping of anything
inside of anybody

only a humping
just an impassioned bumping of groin
against groin

moan or no moan
on a bed of foam/at home

outside/at a bar
far enough in to say that something happened

what exactly
you cannot say

tongues
open surfaces/non-private

heated glances across the room
cliches/really
possibilities of what could happen in another life

another lifetime
what if we had a parallel reality

another one of me/you
to be circumspect/to not consider what could be not-sex
with you

with her/with the parallel versions of us

could ignore these consequences
not have to
reference these parameters

why can't can I just jump
measure the cost/later

much later

in this lifetime
after the flushes/and the hush/hush/love

not so loud
mind the neighbors/the dogs
wooden floors is not made for this kind of activity

I have to be careful

though I want to press you
to the walls of the shower

make no note these hours passing so quickly
with your fingers buried
in my hair/my heart/my art

I want to reduce the neighbors
to whispers

so they would know
that what we are doing
is something akin to fucking/to rutting

to making the kind of love
they only dream of

I wish women would be honest enough to say

the basic fingering of foolishness
we endure from some loves
is not enough to make us come
alive

what exactly is

sex is exactly the intent with which a body moves
if she comes

you can say you fucked her
even without hands

if you wiggled a pinkie/a thumb
if you made her cunt numb without taking off a stitch of clothes

witch or craft
if you stroked the shaft of her rising

be with word or deed

if she needs you before bedtime
when she awakens
if she calls/if you crawl the floors in her absence

if she references the map of your skin
if you pin her to a wall

if she falls when you push your leg
between hers

if she bleeds for you
if you cut the wrists of your yearning with her profile

if your insides turn when you think of her
kissing her lover

you are already fucked
the parts of you still tucked away from wanting her
are doomed to emerge eventually

they will be marked by her ardor
striped by the way your eyes reach for her

in a crowded room
no hands
you have already committed the sin

tin-man or straw heart
the brick road ahead will be hard to follow

it will be impossible to turn back/it will be
painful to acknowledge

the details of such a thing will haunt you
how far
was too far/at what point was enough/enough to say

we crossed a line
having smudged the chalky lines with our bodies
arching/ardent on these floors

the more I think of it/the more
I am inclined to press the details in palms that will hold them

without judgment/my friends far away
have no opinion on the matter

are you happy, bitch

then I really don't give a fuck
if you fucked her or/if you fingered Mary Magdalene

if she makes you laugh/if she makes you food/if
she makes you scream the right notes

when you are nestled
if she makes you purr/pen in hand
if she informs that pool of ink you call your god

then she is good for you
like the Ocean/after a good cry

like the wind
when you have just about had it with the heat of Summer

if she can hold you when you holding back those waters that threaten
to drown you at night
if she feels right

the details of some afternoon
fading futile into hindsight
are irrelevant

what glints iridescent is the glow of you
giggling
you wiggling a self we worried was gone from the fierce warrior in you

all weapon and wielding
we need you whole

and we ain't mad at you getting a little nookie
now and then a girl needs to get her nuggets shined

all the ducks don't have to be lined up
they say

nipple or hands or shirts peeled off
barrier or no barrier
fingers or feet

it's good to see you coming
back to yourself

fluid and flowing
breath and beginnings

we give you permission to laugh out loud

forget the neighbors
the dogs
the questions of forever can no longer inform your yesterday

act first
in accordance with the now

today is the fulcrum upon which all future pleasures turn
burn the belly of the broken

look to what remains whole
hold it to you

honestly

trust that the less than noble notions of lace
illicit lips
and the lumbering of the last minute regrets
will leave you eventually

to lock themselves
away from the light of this lithic luminescence

stretching itself
limitness across the length of my hair

my heart
my art is lucky to have you
hopeful

so let me hold you
whole

remain with me here
till the task of time requires the aging parts of us to be
elsewhere

Scenes From the Battle of Us

2008-04-27T21:44:00.000-04:00

You are like a war novel, entirely lacking
female characters, except for an occasional
letter that makes one of the men cry.

I am like a table
that eats its own legs off
because it’s fallen
in love with the floor.

My frantic hand can’t find where my leg
went. You can play the tourniquet. A tree
with white limbs will grow here someday.

Or maybe a pup tent
that’s collapsed in on itself,
it so loves the sleep
of men sleeping beneath it.

The reason why women dislike war movies
may have something to do with why men hate
romantic comedies: they are both about war.

Perhaps I should
live in a pig’s trough.
There, I’d be wanted.
There, I’d be tasted.

When the mail bag drops from the sky
and lands heavy on the jungle floor, its letters
are prepared to swim away with your tears.

One letter reads:
I can barely feel
furtive. The other:
I am diminishing.

- Cate Marvin

Spring has sprung

2008-04-26T18:47:00.002-04:00

and not in a good way.

I was always one of those "i don't have allergies" people. I secretly found humor but outwardly pitied those that suffered year after year of hay fever misery during the spring. I didn't think it was possible to develop allergies after all these years but my week of severe itchy eyes, scratchy throat, head is about to explode from drainage has made me think otherwise. I am being held hostage by the evil, pretty pink tree in my front yard on what could arguably be the most beautiful day of the year.

kill me now :(

Sleep Door

2008-04-26T17:38:00.001-04:00

a light knocking on the sleep door
like the sound of a rope striking the side of a boat

heard underwater
boats pulling up alongside each other

beneath the surface we rub up against each other
will we capsize in

the surge and silence
of waking from sleep

you are a lost canoe, navigating by me
I am the star map tonight

all the failed echoes
don't matter

the painted-over murals
don't matter

you can find your way to me
by the faint star-lamp

we are a fleet now
our prows zeroing in

praying in the wind
to spin like haywire compasses

toward whichever direction
will have us

- Kazim Ali

Be Near Me

2008-04-23T22:16:00.000-04:00

Be near me now,
My tormenter, my love, be near me—
At this hour when night comes down,
When, having drunk from the gash of sunset, darkness comes
With the balm of musk in its hands, its diamond lancets,
When it comes with cries of lamentation,
with laughter with songs;
Its blue-gray anklets of pain clinking with every step.
At this hour when hearts, deep in their hiding places,
Have begun to hope once more, when they start their vigil
For hands still enfolded in sleeves;
When wine being poured makes the sound
of inconsolable children
who, though you try with all your heart,
cannot be soothed.
When whatever you want to do cannot be done,
When nothing is of any use;
—At this hour when night comes down,
When night comes, dragging its long face,
dressed in mourning,
Be with me,
My tormenter, my love, be near me.

From The True Subject by Faiz Ahmed Faiz (picture of The James River in Richmond at sunset)

What Do Women Want?"

2008-04-21T21:28:00.001-04:00

I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.

-Kim Addonizio

Obama Brushes the Dirt Off

2008-04-18T20:09:00.001-04:00

Ha! love this video. Thanks Jay.

Inch by Inch I go

2008-04-11T10:43:00.003-04:00

A Measuring Worm

This yellow striped green
Catepillar, climbing up
The steep window screen,
Constantly (for lack
of a full set of legs) keeps
humping up his back.
It’s as if he sent
By a sort of semaphore
Dark omegas meant
To warn of Last Things.
Although he doesn’t know it,
He will soon have wings,
And I, too, don’t know
Toward what undreamt condition
Inch by inch I go.

—-Richard Wilbur

I'm not Hating..But

2008-04-08T15:01:00.007-04:00

Bloggers who admittedly hate to blog but get national recognition anyways.. SUCK! They are like the math geeks in school everyone hated because they always claimed Math was sooo hard for them but they got a A+ on every test.

I'm Not Hating... I'm Just Saying :)

Blues

2008-04-07T21:09:00.003-04:00

I am lazy, the laziest
girl in the world. I sleep during
the day when I want to, 'til
my face is creased and swollen,
'til my lips are dry and hot. I
eat as I please: cookies and milk
after lunch, butter and sour cream
on my baked potato, foods that
slothful people eat, that turn
yellow and opaque beneath the skin.
Sometimes come dinnertime Sunday
I am still in my nightgown, the one
with the lace trim listing because
I have not mended it. Many days
I do not exercise, only
consider it, then rub my curdy
belly and lie down. Even
my poems are lazy. I use
syllabics instead of iambs,
prefer slant to the gong of full rhyme,
write briefly while others go
for pages. And yesterday,
for example, I did not work at all!
I got in my car and I drove
to factory outlet stores, purchased
stockings and panties and socks
with my father's money.

To think, in childhood I missed only
one day of school per year. I went
to ballet class four days a week
at four-forty-five and on
Saturdays, beginning always
with plie, ending with curtsy.
To think, I knew only industry,
the industry of my race
and of immigrants, the radio
tuned always to the station
that said, Line up your summer
job months in advance. Work hard
and do not shame your family,
who worked hard to give you what you have.
There is no sin but sloth. Burn
to a wick and keep moving.

I avoided sleep for years,
up at night replaying
evening news stories about
nearby jailbreaks, fat people
who ate fried chicken and woke up
dead. In sleep I am looking
for poems in the shape of open
V's of birds flying in formation,
or open arms saying, I forgive you, all.

From Body of Life by Elizabeth Alexander,

Happy Birthday Edda!

2008-04-06T17:04:00.001-04:00

Heather..I know I promised to not post anything embarrassing on here and I wont. I wont post the videos of you singing karaoke badly (but not as badly as anjenette schafer) or the pics of you drunk off your ass. Instead, I will just tell you how blessed I've been all these years to have you as my friend. I'm not sure if I know a more caring, generous, authentic heart than yours. Countless are the times you saved my ass and countless are the times you've made me laugh. For all these things and more I wish you all the joy the world can muster. Today and Always!

Long Distance II

2008-04-04T21:09:00.001-04:00

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn't just drop in. You had to phone.
He'd put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he'd hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she'd just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven't both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there's your name
and the disconnected number I still call.

- Tony Harrison

Its 7:30 in the morning...Do you know where your civic obligation is?

2008-04-02T20:38:00.001-04:00

Well I know where mine is. Its at the Prince George county courthouse reporting for jury duty. Unfortunately for me I had run out of excuses to postpone, delay and reschedule my summons. I guess there are only so many times you can have the Bird Flu.

I just don't understand why jury duty can't be a strictly voluntary endeavor but as my favorite smart-ass co worker Katie told me yesterday in her best Louisiana drawl "cause no one would show up!" We both agree that the unemployed should be responsible for jury duty. What else do they have to do? Let's make it a criteria for receiving unemployment benefits. Go ahead write your Congressman now!

The fact that I have to be here at 7:30 am is insane just so I can sit in a jury assembly room all day with the minute chance of being picked. Let's not forget..you only get a $15 stipend. I normally don't get out of bed for less than $300!

There is quite the motley crew in the assembly room today and like I usually do when I'm in a crowd I check out the cute guys (2 maybe 3. But that third one looks real suspect) and what the women are wearing. I conclude that I am the best dressed here. Second place goes to the mamacita with the Kelly green trench coat and mohair prada boots. She loses just for trying so hard (its jury duty people!). So after spending 6 hours being passed over for case after case my name was finally called.

I was given a red card with the number 64 on it and was told to get in line and wait for the bailiff. I must admit I was actually kinda excited to finally go into the court. I wanted to experience this important part of our democracy..be a integral part in it remaining fair and impartial..be a beacon of light for those who have lost all faith in the justice system! That was until they told us this would be a criminal case which could last up to 7 days. OH..HELL TO THE NAW! I start to panic..I've got too much shyt to do at work..my boss is going to freak..I have ADD..I couldn't possibly pay attention to anything for 7 days straight even if it was the murder trial of Bobby Brown for a crack induced killing spree.

And just when my panic fest was starting to kick into high gear an announcement was made that the judge only needed 57 jurors and the rest of the group could go home. Whoo hoo! I peaced out my fellow juror breathren and rushed back home just in time for Maury...

Justice has been served.

8 is the magic number...

2008-04-02T15:05:00.008-04:00

well not really but it is the amount of questions to some cool surveys Ginger has tagged me to complete. It took me forever but I am returning the favor to Sheila, Haute , JJ , Jay and all my other friends lurking out there. I would love to know more about you!

8 Things I am Passionate About

1. Love. being in it...showing it to others
2. Fairness ..or my own sometimes skewed version of it (it's the Libra in me)
3. Knowledge..my inquisitive mind wont ever stand still
4. My wanderlust...I want to be a citizen of the world
5. Chai Tea
6. Creativity in all forms..poetry, prose, art, fashion, music, dance
7. Beauty..in wherever I find it..nature, paintings, clothes, buildings, people
8. My own writing..most times i feel like its not good enough..but I'm learning to love it

8 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Live in Italy
2. Know what it feels like to be wealthy
3. Fall in love...stay in love
4. Have a book published
5. Travel to every continent
6. Live in a Victorian house with a wrap around porch
7. Know my purpose in life
8. Be at complete peace with every decision and choice I've made

8 Things I Say Too Often

1. WTF!
2. You are stupid!!
3. LOL
4. I was "like"..
5. Oh my Gawd!
6. I know...right?!?
7. Are you serious?
8. Sweetie

8 Books I Have Read Lately

1. The Alchemist
2. Eat, Pray, Love
3. The Lovely Bones
4. Love in the Time of Cholera
5. The Road
6. The Audacity of Hope
7. The New Earth
8. The Kite Runner

8 Songs (Artists) I Could Listen to Over and Over Again

1. The Blower's Daughter - Damian Rice
2. The Prayer - Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion or Heather Headley
3. Autumn Leaves- Eva Cassidy
4. She Keeps On Passing Me By - Pharcyde
5. This Woman's Work - Maxwell
6. Lost Without You - Robin Thicke
7. Closer - Nine Inch Nails
8. Half the Man - Jamiroquai

8 Things That Attract Me To My Friends

1. their ability to love me for who i am
2. courageousness
3. talent
4. pure silliness
5. beauty
6. authenticity
7. wit and intellect
8. sensitivity

April "Fools for Poetry" Month

2008-04-01T21:50:00.001-04:00

Thanks to RedHotMama for reminding me that this was National Poetry Month. So of course I will be posting some of my favorite poems throughout April. It's only fair that I first feature Ms. "Shooting Sanchez" herself as she is a very talented writer in her own right. I'm not sure if you would consider this piece poetry or a story.. or a story about poetry but in any case she moves me and that's what good poets do.

BTW, please feel free to send me your favorites too...enjoy!

*finger snaps* *lights incense*

Get yo Scarf Swag on..

2008-03-30T00:06:00.007-04:00

It's Saturday night in the city.

You want your scarf swagger on point but dont know exactly how to swing it? Check out the pics for the latest in scarf magic. Thanks to our own fashion guru Seaton Smith for his hands-on consulting on our edgy looks.

Cherry Blossom Season

2008-03-27T22:15:00.000-04:00

as i sat on the steps of the tidal basin
looking through the crowds of lovers and strangers
i wondered if I would know him in the light
as well as i did in the dark
would his face reign supreme thru the shadows?
peaking through full blooms heavy with the scent of regret

he came to me like the promise of spring
bearing gifts of hope and faith
covering me with his fragrant petals of imagination
like a sea of pink overpowering my good senses
making his sweet words the only truth my ears wanted to hear

here.
i am searching through the crowds of cruel intentions and lies
looking for a glimpse of what was once familiar and sacred

i stumble across my reflection in the water
and for a moment he was there as he promised
the pure essence of his being staring back at me
illuminating the water
warming my soul
touching me the way only the God in him could

but just as the promise of spring dissipates
so did his reflection
as he kissed me goodbye with blossom petals
each one purposeful in its intent to fall into this pool of tears
rippling his image into a unrecognizable form
drowning with him all hopes of my understanding

but if he never seeks me out again in this life
i will always know where to find him
i will hear him in the careless whispers of a lovers lie
i will see him in the awkward embrace of a strangers glance
i will think of him in the space between never and always
and i will feel his spirit in the kindred calming winds

each cherry blossom season

~Asabi

About last night

2008-03-15T21:10:00.002-04:00

Happy hour drinks....$20

Dinner...$35

A round of shots....$60

Ginger raining money on dem hoes at Camelot, dancing till exhaustion, and realizing that REAL sister-friends can withstand many years and even more miles.... PRICELESS!!!

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's..well you know the rest.

Ain't no shame...

2008-03-01T15:45:00.005-05:00

in hanging on to grief... long as you leave room for other stuff too

~Bubbles, The Wire

Ur like thirrrrttyyy or some'n!!!!!

2008-02-16T14:53:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday to my wonderful fashion loving, yuengling drinking, fried chicken and watermelon eating sister-friend. Here's to you for overcoming obstacles with grace, being a consummate optimist, inspiring me to find my writing voice and never letting me forget my worth. Blessings to you today and always.

To ~~Anita~~ Ginger

high/yellow/black/girl

walken like the sun u be.

move on even higher.

those who laugh at yo/color

have not moved to the blackness we be about

cuz as Curtis Mayfield be sayen

we people be darker than blue

and quite a few of us be yellow

all soul/shades of blackness.

yeah.

high/yellow/black/girl

walk yo/black/song

cuz some of us

be hearen yo/sweet/music.

Written by Sonia Sanchez

V-Day..Go away...

2008-02-14T09:07:00.000-05:00

Ok, I get it. It's not about the day. I have tortured my friends with vomit inducing posts of love poems in honor of Valentine's Day all week. But those who know me best know I am indeed a lover of "love" everyday so give me a break.

But.... I do have one more for good measure.

My friend Kenn is a amazing writer who humbly doesnt consider himself a "poet". And I agree because he is more than any box Webster's dictionary can put him in. It's hard for me to pin down a favorite piece of his but this one spoke to me on many romantic levels.

Open letter 2 my Wife

Dearest daughter of all daughters, beautiful apple of these eyes
It is with much longing I that write you through blurried words and lines
My transgressions and digressions and diversions are allayed
That you may hurry to me quickly that my heart not lose its way

In the darkness I sit loudly while thoughts and images are my home
In the light I scream in silence amidst a crowd I’m so alone
Calamities and tragedies, if advance me to you then I embrace
These forty lashes and weeping gnashes just to finally caress your face

Impatience does not become me but then neither does your void
Deficiency of you and me has made me apprehensive and annoyed
Yet I repent this near lament for you are worthy of finer muse
And that I’m stuck on temporary, well, there’s really no excuse

True love waits in haunted attics and the most unlikely of all spans
Dearest bride, begin this circle synonymous to our unbroken hands
Strangers, suitors, lovers, and less that may delay our rendezvous
Have mercy on their souls, dear Lord; I commit their souls to you

I will rub your tired feet and rest your weary head upon my breast
I will hear your unfiltered thoughts and massage your much-neglected neck
I will say, “I do” and do I will and will do what you will
I miss you, need you, want you, plead that soon you be revealed

Dearest heart, I save the best I am and the man I have yet to be
That I might carry you over the threshold and consummate what is eternal thee
I intercede now for the seeds of us unborn and/or already here
To bounce our babe upon my lap or to show our teen how not to fear

Firmaments, expanse, and destiny declare it’s written before its played
Before seeded in the womb while being fearfully and wonderfully made
Dearest Love, come to me quickly, tarry not I do implore
One day I will look in you deeply saying, “He encontrado mi amor.”

love always and © 2006 kenn bivins

V-Day part 4

2008-02-13T23:15:00.000-05:00

Love Is

Some people forget that love is
tucking you in and kissing you "Good night"
no matter how young or old you are
Some people don't remember that love is
listening and laughing and asking questions no matter what your age
Few recognize that love is
commitment, responsibility no fun at all
unless
Love is
You and me

Nikki Giovanni
............................................................................................................................................................................
Jada

u r the omega of my heart
the foundation of my conception of love
when i think of what a black woman should be
its u that i first think of

u will never fully understand
how deeply my heart feels 4 u
i worry that we'll grow apart
and i'll end up losing u

u bring me 2 climax without sex
and u do it all with regal grace
u r my heart in human form
a friend i could never replace

Tupac Shakur

V-Day part 3

2008-02-12T22:53:00.001-05:00

Love Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were a salt rose,
or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret,
between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth,
lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how,
or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I do not exist, nor you,
so close
that your hand on my chest
is my hand,
so close
that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda
.............................................................................................................................................................................

The Swan Search

I looked for you in the streets of Paris,

every swift, fawn-colored car recalled your lithe limbs.

I looked for you in the King's garden at Versailles,

rainbow-colored begonias conjured the patterns of our rainbow moments.

I looked for you in every Chateau of the Loire,

every white swan gliding hopes on Lake Geneva.

Every brown-roofed chalet speckling the Alps became our nest.

I groped for the intensity of your agate eyes in every mountain I encountered.

I looked for you everywhere,

but could only find you in me

everywhere,

in every urban and suburban cell

of my existence.

Ada A. Aharoni, Ph.D.

V-Day part 2

2008-02-11T22:10:00.000-05:00

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach,
When feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need;
By sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath.
Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrnett Browning

In honor of V-Day...

2008-02-10T23:03:00.000-05:00

and my hopeless romanticism, I will post some of my favorite love poems throughout the week. Here are several from one the most profound poets I've come to know. Rumi.

Like This

If anyone asks you how the perfect satisfaction of all our sexual wanting will look, lift your face and say,

Like this.

When someone mentions the gracefulness of the nightsky, climb up on the roof and dance and say,

Like this.

If anyone wants to know what "spirit" is, or what "God’s fragrance" means, lean your head toward him or her.Keep your face there close.

Like this.

When someone quotes the old poetic image about clouds gradually uncovering the moon, slowly loosen knot by knot the strings of your robe.

Like this.

If anyone wonders how Jesus raised the dead, don’t try to explain the miracle. Kiss me on the lips.

Like this. Like this.

When someone asks what it means to "die for love," point here.

If someone asks how tall I am, frown and measure with your fingers the space between the creases on your forehead. This tall.

The soul sometimes leaves the body, then returns. When someone doesn’t believe that, walk back into my house.

Like this.

When lovers moan, they’re telling our story.

Like this.

I am a sky where spirits live. Stare into this deepening blue, while the breeze says a secret.

Like this.

When someone asks what there is to do, light the candle in his hand.

Like this.

How did Joseph’s scent come to Jacob?
Huuuuu.
How did Jacob’s sight return?
Huuuu.
A little wind cleans the eyes.

Like this.

When Shams comes back from Tabriz, he’ll put just his head around the edge of the door to surprise us.

Like this.
.........................................................................................................................................................................

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,
they're in each other all along.
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I have phrases and whole pages memorized,
but nothing can be told of love.
You must wait until you and I
are living together.
In the conversation we'll have
then...be patient...then.
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When the sweet glance of my true love caught my eyes,
Like alchemy, it transformed my copper-like soul.
I searched for Him with a thousand hands,
He stretched out His arms and clutched my feet.
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When it's cold and raining,
you are more beautiful.
And the snow brings me
even closer to your lips.
The inner secret, that which was never born,
you are that freshness, and I am with you now.
I can't explain the goings,
or the comings. You enter suddenly,
and I am nowhere again.
Inside the majesty.
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With the Beloved's water of life, no illness remains
In the Beloved's rose garden of union, no thorn remains.
They say there is a window from one heart to another
How can there be a window where no wall remains?
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Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy,
absentminded. Someone sober
will worry about things going badly.
Let the lover be

Jeremy

2008-01-31T13:46:00.000-05:00

I'm on the Amtrak #89 going south for weekend.

I’m sitting behind a caramel colored little boy. Jeremy is his name. Occasionally, he stands up in his seat to look back at me with a careless cascading mop of curly black hair and a sea of golden chestnuts where his eyes should be. I put my book down so that he has my full attention.

He starts to serenade me with his toddler version of Alicia Keys’ song “No One.” He closes his eyes and enthusiastically sings the chorus at the top of his little lungs “Ooh ooh Ooh oh Oh……..Ooh Ooh Ooh Oh Oh!”

I instantly fall in love.

His mother apologizes and says it’s his favorite song and tries to get him to stop to no avail. “It’s ok,” I say. “He’s adorable.” They get off the train in Richmond. As we pull off from the platform Jeremy waves goodbye. I notice they are carrying trash bags instead of luggage.

I stare out the window for the next 50 miles wondering what will become of him. I quietly hum my new favorite song as the passing of the trees mercifully lulls me to sleep.

OOOOO....I love ya!!!

2008-01-29T22:42:00.002-05:00

Happy Happy Birthday to my dear Oprah!

Anyone who knows me well enough knows I love me some Oprah. I mean how can you not? She is a mogul, a philanthropist and a one woman empire.

Oprah Winfrey IS the American Dream! She is the coolest nouveau riche in the world. She is an incredibly good person, investing over 300 million to various charities including 40 million to open the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. And while we all know Oprah loves the finer things in life, her embrace of materialism is totally matched by her embrace of spirit. For example, I learned the laws of the universe not in a physics class, but from The Secret, the Winfrey-endorsed self-help book, which taught me that wealth is just the byproduct of a successful soul. Critics of Ms. Winfrey's money are just negativists who don't understand how to manifest the positive.

Not only has Oprah changed the way America reads and values books but you can best believe "The Oprah's Book Club" seal on a book will lead to instant fame and bestseller status for any author. I am personally well on my way to reading every book on her list.

Currently, she is lending her A-list star power to Obama's campaign, drawing huge crowds that hopefully will translate into votes. Tens of thousands turned out for Winfrey's rally stops with Obama. In South Carolina, the turn-out was so overwelming that the campaign ran out of the 18,000 tickets originally available and moved it to the 80,000-seat University of South Carolina football stadium.

One of the most powerful women in the world, Oprah is both loved...and apparently hated. People will grasp at anything, it seems, to find fault with a woman who has lived the American dream, worked her way up from the bottom, and raised herself to the status of billionaire...and all this, despite her poor upbringing, despite her gender, despite her race.

She is a force to be reckoned with, a pioneer, a survivor. If only she would be Obama's running mate.....Then all would be right with the world!!!

I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. ~ Oprah Winfrey